Regarding couples counseling, many people may have such a misunderstanding: couples who receive counseling together can restore their relationship and repair their marriage.
1
Jack and Amy, the visitors of Season 1 of "Heart-to-Heart", are a conflicted couple.
Jack is a car mechanic. He is grumpy, vulgar, speaks acerbic, and often swears in quarrels. At the same time, he is suspicious and controlling . As long as his wife doesn't answer the phone in time, he will conclude that his wife is having an affair.
Amy is an executive at a financial company. Tall, dignified and elegant, she tolerated her husband's abuse in every possible way and rarely resisted. But at the same time, she likes to lie and often teases other men unconsciously .
Originally came to Paul's counseling room, stemming from Amy's unplanned pregnancy. On the issue of whether to keep the child, the two had a serious disagreement- Jack insisted on keeping the child because he wanted to keep Amy at home and prevent her from "getting messy" outside; but Amy She wanted to abort the child because she felt that she was not mentally prepared to take good care of the child. In the first few consultations, Amy was always late and avoided talking about the reasons for being late. This caused Jack's strong suspicion and dissatisfaction.
So, in the ensuing consultation, the two began to quarrel constantly.
Until one time, Amy shouted loudly: "Do you know why I'm late? Because I went to a private doctor to consult about abortion."
At that moment, Jack was completely panicked. He immediately knelt on the ground to confess and apologize to Amy, and promised to get rid of his bad temper.
He wanted this child so much.
2
Jack's compromise, in exchange for a brief harmony between the two. But soon, the peace was shattered by an accident - during the next consultation, Amy sat on the sofa and miscarried without warning.
Facing the loss of the child in her womb, Amy did not show any sadness.
Instead, she was greatly relieved, relieved. On the other hand, Jack was deeply regretful and painful, and even became angry and put the blame on Paul.
In the consultation room, he continued to sneer at Amy and Paul, and he spoke viciously, and finally forced Amy to leave the consultation room early.
The relationship between the two fell into a freezing point again, and they began to separate.
With the in-depth consultation, Paul gradually clarified the process of the two "from tying the knot to the gradual disappearance of love".
Years ago, Amy met Jack, an auto mechanic, during a guitar lesson. She thought Jack was sexy and Jack thought she was elegant. The two fell in love at first sight, quickly got together, and became pregnant.
But after marriage, Amy began to dislike Jack's rudeness and lack of culture due to the difference in their identities.
In front of Amy, Jack was also full of inferiority complex and defensiveness. He continued to attack through vicious language, and even threatened to kill Amy to maintain his "male dignity". As a result, the estrangement between the two grew wider.
3
Later, with the deepening of the consultation, Paul peeled away layer by layer, and finally saw the motives of Amy and Jack's initial union.
When Amy was a child, she used to be a fat girl who was often ridiculed by others.
To this end, she is full of inferiority complex, and put all her thoughts on learning, in order to escape the sense of worthlessness in her heart.
Later, even if she became a business woman, her inner inferiority still existed. And by marrying someone who is not as good as you, you can offset your inner inferiority complex.
Therefore, when she encountered Jack whose career achievements were far behind her, she resolutely threw herself into Jack's arms.
And Jack, he was born in an elite family, his parents are highly educated and very capable. But his academic performance has been very bad, he can't go to university, he can only work as a car mechanic.
For this reason, he suffered many scoldings and contempt from his parents. Because of this, he has always longed to marry an elite strong woman with a high degree of education, so that he can be proud of himself in front of his parents.
And Amy's appearance just met all his needs. In fact, they don't really love each other, but just want to make up for the vacancy in their hearts through each other.
When Paul clarified the connection of all this little by little, Amy's face was blank: "Yes, I want to get a divorce." It was obvious that she looked down on Jack, and her patience with marriage had reached its peak.
In the beginning, Jack was still dependent on Amy for his life and was reluctant to let go.
He began to work hard to suppress his irritability and was extremely tender and considerate to Amy. He even cried in front of Amy several times, begging Amy not to divorce.
But the more her husband was submissive, the more indifferent Amy became, and she even cheated on her boss to challenge her husband's patience.
By the end, Jack was exhausted and had to let go.
He began to reconnect with friends who used to play the band together and played with the band in his spare time. Slowly, he began to gradually find himself and become independent. At the end of the consultation, the two chose to break up peacefully.
Finally, I want to say: some people have confirmed the meaning of marriage and partner to them through counseling, and successfully repaired the relationship;
Some people confirmed that they did not love each other and finally chose to break up peacefully.
No matter what kind of ending it is, it is actually a process of self-recognition and self-growth.
So, whether it is hand in hand or alone, please go forward with confidence and boldness. One day, you will meet a better version of yourself.
Text/Guangzhou Mangrove Psychological Counseling Center tangle
View more about In Treatment reviews
