We always have theory before practice. We are but unprepared for life. So we hold ourselves in the palm of your hand?
We work hard since childhood. We learn skills. We summarize the central idea. We want to be skilled workers, skilled in analyzing and practicing the various passages of our lives. We are most afraid of hearing others say we are ignorant.
I read. I read Borges, but also Jin Yong. Both give me the pleasure of reading, but of course they are different. So should I analyze it carefully?
I'm going to see a movie. As the killing on the battlefield and the passionate lovemaking on the screen alternated, I wondered: what kind of montage is this?
Everything is foretold. We know the weather and temperature tomorrow. We know when our friends will come. We know what's going to happen next. And we hope to be pleasantly surprised in this waiting for the known.
Wait for the known? I'm a little confused.
Is it because of the flood of information? Can't we face it directly, but do a preview in advance? And in this preview, we rearrange things to suit our own requirements? As for those that don't fit, we just ignore them?
So we waited for what we wanted. Our lives are not wasted.
But what about real? Is what we're waiting for real? We watch with the preview glasses, what do we see?
We see what we want to see.
We name them with nouns. Those without nouns are not recognized.
Once a thing is named, it has power.
So we cannot be ignorant.
Is this a trap we dug ourselves?
Have a completely unfamiliar face?
I go to watch movies that I know nothing about. For example, "Open your eyes". I followed the director blindly and willingly, hoping to see something really fresh.
Can't say I got nothing. I see something new to try. There are also surprising places. But this accident is formal. I see some symbols zoomed in. For example, dreams and reality. In fact, these are two symbols that are read over and over again, only in this film they are exaggerated.
So we see details that go unnoticed under normal circumstances.
Is this fresh? I have no idea.
I still long to know nothing. I don't read previews. I want to know the way things are. I long for them to appear out of the blue, dripping fresh. I don't want them to become stale with those nouns.
But there is nothing new under the sun. How can I know what life is for?
Maybe the only thing I can face without knowing anything is movies?
March 2000 in Beijing
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