The final monologue of the heroine

Lelah 2021-12-01 08:01:26

No one knows how to do one thing well,

maybe you do it well and the

other is not good. What

if I lose myself?

What if I start to regret it?

If God gives me another chance, I will still do the same thing.

Do I just want to sleep in the wild with these maps?

What if she didn't teach me these things?

What if what I did was to attract me here?

What if I have never been redeemed?

It took me many years to make me the kind of woman my mother wanted me to be.

It took me 4 years, 7 months, and 3 days to do this.

Without help

from others ,

I finally found my way after I missed the scenery and went through the vicissitudes of life .

I don’t know. Where

will I go all the way? Thank you. I think of my

past life time and time again. I know a lot, even those things that you don’t know.

Four years ago, this bridge

was here. I was married with a man for

9 years. The man gave birth to his son Carter.

Another year passed. My daughter was born. I gave her my mother's name. Bobby.

I realized that I could continue to live.

There

are so many good things, but never end. Those good things are what I have. Everything in

my life is the same as ordinary people.

Beautiful and mysterious. It’s

close and within reach.

Just as they are mine.

Stepping into the wilderness is life.

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Extended Reading

Wild quotes

  • Cheryl: [voiceover] What if I forgive myself? What if I was sorry? But if I could go back in time, I wouldn't do a single thing differently. What if I wanted to sleep with every single one of those men? What if heroin taught me something? What if all those things I did were the things that got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?

  • [last lines]

    Cheryl: [voiceover] It took me years to be the woman my mother raised. It took me 4 years, 7 months and 3 days to do it, without her. After I lost myself in the wilderness of my grief, I found my own way out of the woods.

    [pause]

    Cheryl: And I didn't even know where I was going until I got there, on the last day of my hike. Thankyou, I thought over and over again, for everything the trail had taught me and everything I couldn't yet know.

    [pause]

    Cheryl: Now in 4 years, I'd cross this very bridge. I'll marry a man in a spot almost visible from where I was standing. Now in 9 years, that man and I would have a son named Carver and a year later, a daughter named after my mother, Bobbi. I knew only that I didn't need to eat with my bare hands anymore. That seeing the fish beneath the surface of the water would be enough, that it was everything. My life, like all lives, mysterious, irrevocable, sacred, so very close, so very present, so very belonging to me. How wild it was, to let it be?