Then, what I want to say the most, and what the film brings me the most, is the way to maintain a love or even a marriage. I used to think that communication is the foundation of maintaining feelings between people. As long as you can honestly and fully express your heart to The other party, and accepting the other party's heart to the maximum extent, his/her shortcomings, the inconvenience caused by work, some bad habits in life, etc., can manage a relationship or family well.
But in fact, many times, people have established a door for their hearts because of many objective problems, and they cannot understand and accept each other, or even be honest with each other. Michael's love and care has reached the extreme of a good man. Every girl has said: I hope he treats me well, loves me, loves me, can accept all my shortcomings, and pamper me like a child. He did it, and even made men admire it, man, how did you do it? Women envy me if I were that woman! But in the end... but it makes the lover feel small and cowardly. Alice changed the character she hated even after quitting drinking. She became independent, had the courage and responsibility to face life, and made many new friends. But this result, um... made Michael feel unnecessary and panic. They love each other deeply, but now they don't know how to best love each other and make them feel needed. They tried to communicate, tried to ask each other how to improve, but couldn't find the right direction, and even angered each other, thinking that they had done so much for love, family, and each other, why they just couldn't understand. Don't they want to communicate? Don't want to work hard? Why did it turn out to be a reluctant escape?
Michael is a quintessentially romantic big man who needs a lover in his care like a child, just saying, "Oh dear, I'm so happy to have you here. I love you!" . When his actions are fully affirmed, he will doubly continue to pay for his lover. But if the result is just the opposite, he will be hit hard, lose his direction or even become irritable. This is the heart of the romantic who yearns for constant affirmation. Then he forgets that giving is a two-way thing, and what he gives is not what the other party needs, how can it have the desired result. And what Alice really needs is self-confidence, the self-confidence of being able to change her own self-confidence and become the self-confidence of her ideal wife, rather than unlimited tolerance. What he paid was not what she wanted, and what she wanted but could not tell him well, was the root cause of the deterioration of the relationship between the two.
Start to think about the problem in between, when two people hope that love will develop in a good direction, but the direction of two people's efforts is different. It's like two people on a boat are rowing, but in opposite directions. When they try to communicate and make things worse, it shows that there is a problem with the way and direction of communication, or even a serious mistake, so what is right?
Humans are also very strange creatures, because there is an inner emotion called "rebellion". Sometimes incorrect communication methods also become "controlling in the name of love" and thus make people rebellious.
So what is the right way? Perhaps we should first put aside the right and wrong, and the results may improve. Communication is not about right and wrong, it is about education. It is not to instill other people's own thinking and concepts, that is called pyramid selling. Communication is not to let the other party know what he is thinking, but to let himself know what the other party is thinking, and its purpose is to 'communicate'.
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