Rent Rent, now I'm preparing for tomorrow's final, my mind is full of the melody of no day but today, I've traveled so much, but I can't remember why I watched this movie and why I'll be alone in my life from now on, Just for your tenderness.
I also live in New York State with wandering artistic dreams here, God Bless America. In the late spring, I ran alone on a grassy slope. I have written so many scenarios in my dreams - running barefoot, stepping over wild flowers. I put my life on the most normal path, but I still have those unintelligible sadness and joy.
People are not like this, they don't know why they are sad or why they are happy.
"But it is the feeling of being alive," says the novel "Cloud Atlas".
From the first contact with rent at the age of 17, I never knew much about today, from thinking that the movie version of Mimi is ugly to falling in love with her eyes, again and again.
So, since this is the feeling of being alive, are we really alive?
Angel is sincerely in love with art. When Collins looked up and saw Angel with a nosebleed that night, Angel was really like an angel. She was kind and beautiful. I feel so too. I like i'll cover you, like today for you, tomorrow for me. I like angel's kindness, sincerity, and courage in love.
We always think, I'm going to be an artist, I'm going to write a novel, I'm going to be recognized, I'm going to get an amy, I'm going to get a Pulitzer, and one day I'm going to stand in the hall of fame and let everyone recognize me and appreciate me I.
But we don't have the courage to abandon fame and fortune, and we don't have the courage to wander and create without fear of danger.
So who is the real artist?
Angel has it, Maureen has it, the girl standing on the stage mooing, do you think she is not charming, those flaming red lips, Maureen with bright eyes, the performance artist who makes Mark fascinated, probably everyone will fall in love with it, Even a well-behaved Harvard lawyer.
All American literary boys who sing American folk songs and engage in music have romantic feelings that are afraid of love. This is a love that I have no words to comment on, you touched the depression in my soul, my blue depression, I never believed that life and love are full of joy, maybe I was born with low blood sugar, so depression is more than others It's heavier, but I can't be happy, my whole person is melancholy blue, blue is the artist's lover, other people want to be happy in my love, so they all fail, you and I torture each other, we finally Each other's sadness can not extricate themselves, we end up together forever.
Well, mimi, don't hurt yourself, just hurt me, we are all melancholy souls dying in America.
I had AIDS and I didn't dare to love, and in the end found out that we had the same disease and it was made in heaven.
And Mark is "how much tenderness can never say sad", do you love shooting or Maureen, what do you love is the seemingly normal life, or those inconspicuous homeless people like ants living on the streets.
Rent influenced me in his own way, even if I was a person studying in a bright and spacious library, even if I got up every day to take a shower, go to class, go for a run, carry a computer from the library back to the dormitory at night, and pass a long On the hillside, spring is late in New York State, the grass is finally green, I will walk barefoot on the deep and shallow green grass, I will play the guitar gently, and I will dance and sing when no one is around. I have no dreams, I used to want to sing on Broadway, I used to sing ballads in bars, I used to write for a living. I was 16 years old, 17 years old, 18 years old, and I was too confused when I was young. In the days and nights affected by rent, I finally realized that as long as I am alive, being able to sing and dance is the most basic happiness.
They are the real living people, they don't worry about food and drink, they don't worry about their livelihood, how strange, people with the label of "the bottom of society" are the real living people, and we, with a seemingly bright appearance, live a stable and prosperous life , we are living in the cracks.
We are people who live with the body, they are people who waste the body and walk with the soul.
Even though I have AIDS, I'm transgender, I can't pay the rent, I only have a guitar, I only have a projector and a video camera, and I live in New York.
angel once said to tourists, I'm more than a man you've ever seen, more than a woman you've ever known.
In this world, I am so brave to be myself, I know that someone will fall in love with me eventually, Even if I was a transgender, in the 90s, with AIDS, living in the streets of New York.
Bohemia is immortal.
I used to love watching "humans of New York", and I remember the man lying in a New York City subway station saying, "I am a square nail in a world full of round holes". He held a book in his hand, and his eyes were clear through his glasses.
I'm sorry, I'm a square nail, I can't stand these rules and regulations, I can't stand the peaceful and affluent life that sees death at a glance, I have a natural shame to enjoy these inventions of human civilization. I am a person living in the cracks of New York City, and my life is as low as a mouse, and that is the life I look forward to.
Would you like to sleep in Times Square with a dismal face? No fancy clothes, no fine meals, no elegant figure and hairstyle.
no future.
I would. My soul shouts what elegance is.
Elegance is one of my favorite photography works. A Dublin street performer. His puffy face is full of exhaustion. He is holding a hot dog in one hand, but his eyes are bright when he looks at the hot dog, as if he is looking at his lover.
Elegance is not living a middle-class life. Elegance is not living in a goldfish bowl, but no matter how embarrassed it is, the look in the hot dog's eyes is beyond poetic.
We are dying in America, in this last age, we are living in America, do you know who you are.
There is no end to the story, the end of the movie, we understand no day but today, the projector is everyone - alive, dead, humble, AIDS, homeless, New York winter. We are still here, alive, good or bad, because life is a daydream. It's scariest when you don't have a dream.
Finally,
Thank you, Mr.Larson, You are the truest artist ,truest human being, ever.
RIP.
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