The World Cup is halfway through, and the football boom has drowned out some news and delayed the fermentation of some hot events.
The girl from Qingyang, Gansu Province, who committed suicide by jumping off a building on June 20, became a national figure after several days.
She had previously attempted what is now known to be four unsuccessful suicide attempts in October and December 2016, May 2017, January 2018, but on the fifth, she made it.
At that time, the spectators who were downstairs, in the circle of friends, and in the live broadcast room shouting "Why don't you jump" were pulled out to criticize.
At that time, the firefighter who almost saved her but was let go screamed, and the live video stimulated people's tear ducts.
At that time, at this time, it was already heaven and earth, and yin and yang were forever separated.
The girl who was born in 1999 had the experience of being forcibly molested by the male head teacher during her senior year of high school in September 2016. This is generally considered to be the reason why she chose to die. Others said that she came from a single-parent family and had a bit of an extreme personality.
There were reports that she suffered from depression after the incident, and some people at the school said she actually had depression before the incident.
This is not the first time we have been shocked to hear that "suicide sparked onlookers" or "teacher molested students", nor is it the first time we have been filled with righteous indignation.
Objectively speaking, "inciting suicide" is not a Chinese characteristic, nor is it unique to developing countries (the criminal laws of some states in the United States stipulate that inciting suicide is a felony criminal offense, but similar incidents cannot be prevented). This phenomenon has mixed sociological, psychological and It is human nature to learn motivation, even violence.
The Qingyang girl who sat on the small platform outside the 8th floor of the department store for more than four hours with a mobile phone in her hand, like all young people today, her emotions and the Internet are always connected. She posted a "suicide note" with a selfie in the circle of friends. I don't know if she saw the cold-blooded words of the onlookers in those hours (hope she didn't), and she didn't know if she was hesitant in those hours. Waiting for something, the answer is blowing in the wind.
Whether the onlookers' booing was directly related to the Qingyang girl's jumping downstairs could not be determined, but it pushed her behind somewhat.
At the moment when her life was hanging by a thread, the fragile girl's psychology was on the verge of collapse, and any trace of strength could push her to the other side of the scale.
I am reminded of a movie, Veronica Decides to Die.
The beginning of the film is a long inner monologue of the heroine Veronica——
Look, when you think I'm low-minded or something, you're going to give me pills, right. As far as I know, a lot of people who eat it are actually quite healthy, really.
I went back to work, took new antidepressants, and had dinner with my parents to convince them that I was back to normal and wouldn't be in trouble again.
Then one day, a man asked me to marry him. He was gentle and considerate, and I believe my parents would like it very much. The first year we would have frequent sex, the second and third years would taper off, and when I was tired of each other, I would get pregnant.
Taking care of the kids, going to work on time, and paying the mortgage, at least we can make do with our dull life.
And then, ten years later, he would have an affair because I was too busy and too tired, and at the same time I found out that I wanted to kill him, his mistress, and myself.
After this matter is over, a few years later, he will have a new lover. At this time, I will pretend that I don't know, because no matter what, a quick compromise can only show that I don't care anymore, so at least these few days I still very happy.
Sometimes I want my kids to live a different life than I do, and sometimes they secretly take pleasure in wanting to be my shadow.
I'm fine, really.
Saying you are good is often bad.
Having visions for the future and seeming hopeful, often a lot of troubles are caused by thinking too much.
At first glance, life seems to be on track smoothly, which often makes people hopeless.
Look, the most feared turning point in life is not only "but", but also "often".
Veronica, a 20-year-old with beautiful blonde hair, was sent to a private mental hospital after she was rescued by suicide by swallowing another drug.
The doctors and patients here will tell a story of "The King and the Poison Well". The central idea is to learn to see things from the perspective of the people around you, and you will be relieved of everything.
In the beginning, Veronica resisted communication and treatment. She still had the urge to jump off the building, and she would steal pills and swallow them.
Here she met her patient Edward.
Edward is a handsome young man, but he doesn't speak. It is said that there was a car accident before coming in. His girlfriend was also in the car at the time and died on the spot. He thought he killed her.
The doctor's characterization of his condition was swaying, catatonia or schizophrenia or something.
People who are silent can feel weird, but they can also feel safe.
Veronica quietly tried to play the piano again at night, and the sound of the piano plucked Edward, they still didn't have a conversation (Edward was silent), but they slowly got closer.
Veronica's ritual of confirming the relationship was special, as she masturbated to the poker-faced Edward in front of the piano.
And Edward was finally willing to speak, and after confirming his eyes, this whisper was pure joy in the world.
Veronica said her parents left before she was born, but added that "we have a good relationship".
Veronica's parents come to see her. In the eyes of her parents, Veronica has always had good grades, made friends with many excellent people, had a good job (assistant business manager), and had a good income (annual salary of 75,000 US dollars in 2009, with medical insurance), Never got into trouble and always makes parents proud.
Veronica used to love to play the piano and won a scholarship from the Juilliard School of Music, but her parents expected her to go to a bigger school, which would be more conducive to getting a high-paying job.
But in the dialogue, I could feel that my mother instinctively avoided the doctor's statement that the best way to treat is to "talk", and my father was worried about taking the cost of treatment and turning around.
It was Veronica's luck to meet Edward, but even luckier she met Doctor Blake.
Blake told Veronica that the suicide had left her with severe heart damage and that she would have no more than a few weeks to live.
Veronica was a little fortunate at first, but now she can finally die.
But gradually, under Blake's guidance, she tried not to always put on the look of "I don't care about my mother", but to be willing to express her heart in a venting way.
Veronica says to Blake:
I hate you, I hate your rotten table, I hate your ugly tie, I hate your funny socks; I hate everyone locked in this shitty place; I hate my parents spending all their money to trap me in this In the zoo (madhouse), God, they should really live for themselves, even for a moment; I hate the group of idiots in the office who think money can make themselves worth; I hate the group of people in the subway The Walking Dead because they have forgotten all their dreams, or that they never chased a dream at all.
Veronica will also say to Blake:
I want to go to the beach, I want to see the sea, I want to feel the sand, I want to buy one to eat at my favorite taco stand, I want to go to an Irish pub and order a Guinness, I want to see my mom, I I want to have a good chat with her.
Throughout the plot, Veronica has a "good life" recognized by secular values. There are no outward flaws, no bullying experiences, no sexual assault nightmares. Some are just communication aphasia from the original family and different from colleagues. Disagreement and shame for not holding on to your dreams.
What, that's all? From the point of view of us mortals, these metaphysical ideological repressions are far from seeking death.
At least compared to the Qingyang girl who had been molested, the reason for Veronica's suicide would seem as light as a feather.
This also tells us that not only physical injury, but also a long-term lack of understanding will affect a person's direction of moving forward. How to heal the inner wounds and how to deal with them is the exit of not committing suicide.
The Qingyang girl did not hide the truth from her father after the incident. She also asked the school's psychological counseling room for help. The answer was "powerless." She asked the school leaders for help. The answer was "don't make a fuss." The case was filed as compulsory molestation, but the procuratorate decided not to prosecute on the grounds of "insufficient evidence". Qingyang girl filed a reconsideration, which was rejected.
The Qingyang girl took the initiative to seek a way out. She tried her best to save herself, but she did not get a fair result, so the accumulation and episodes of depression did not wash away over time, but accumulated a lot.
Qingyang girls have never met Blake's wisdom (the big reversal at the end of the film), patience (be careful when talking therapy, don't get angry when provoked), respect the patient (Veronica doesn't want to say anything and won't chase after him) , doctors who protect their patients (and not betray Veronica in the face of accountability from business owners), which may be the biggest difference in circumstances between developing and developed countries.
Dr. Blake's classic quote:
1. In this society, we have been seeking happiness, but if we are not happy, we will feel helpless, we will feel very defeated.
2. Staying away from everyone, even loved ones, helps calm people down.
3. When desires come, you will feel afraid. Most people replace all their feelings with fear. Everyone has dreams, but only a few people can achieve them. This makes those who fail to achieve them become coward.
4. Be smart about reality. The reality is what most people think it should be, it doesn't need to be the best or the most reasonable, it just needs to meet the needs of the society as a whole, some things are decided by common sense, but others are up to the day after tomorrow. Change until more and more people think it should be.
In fact, if you figure out any of the above points, the last step of suicide may be to withdraw your legs.
Most people who are going to kill themselves will try again and again until they succeed (like the Qingyang girl), and Dr. Blake knows this, so he risked lying to Veronica (tell her that he was dying) and decided to Use it to test the only therapy he has confidence in - cognition of life.
When she later found out that her body was safe and had the gratitude of "the rest of her life", she would regard every day as a miracle.
Veronica and Edward, who finally left the mental hospital together, waited for their most beautiful sunrise.
Insanity and out of control are two different things. Insanity keeps us from communicating with others, so all people are mentally ill to some degree. But as long as you are in control of your thoughts, you will not lose control and give up your life.
For someone who learns that she is terminally ill after suicide, perhaps arousing her desire to live simply means that it is too late to live an active life.
We are free from diseases and disasters, so don’t force me to worry, let’s live well for the time being.
The latest news is that the head teacher who was suspected of molesting the girls in Qingyang was transferred out of the education system and disqualified as a teacher.
If that wasn't enough to put the girl to rest, at least a little comfort.
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