Identity 1: Teacher
[Half Nelson] Dan is an ordinary middle school history teacher. Very thin, young face with a thick beard, and messy yellow hair, always looks tired, and never looks energetic. Even if he was indulging in the feasting and smoky smoky, he was still lazy, his eyelids would not be lifted hard, and the smile on the corners of his mouth seemed erratic.
At midnight, in the alley behind the bar, some drunk Dan said to the two women, "My life is a mess, but I wrote things," he paused, "Yes, I am a teacher, but I should teach them What? Do you understand what I mean? What should I teach them? If one student can be changed, then I can change all of them." This is what he believes is salvation, doing things that can be changed. At this time, the two identities of writer and teacher seem to consciously distinguish themselves from others, symbolizing that they still have a pure ideal and a noble soul. But the women left, and the conversation stopped abruptly. This kind of embarrassment, this kind of sorrow of not being accepted or understood always makes people feel that they are beyond the reach.
Dan is undoubtedly an idealist. He even uses dialectics, contradictions, and even Chinese yin and yang doctrines to teach history to his students. He hated his colleague’s textbooks and ignored the civil rights movement that the principal had given him to talk about. He talked about what he thought students had to understand, and his own understanding of history, so that students could recite some truths that were justified but at the same time they were always concealed by history. The scenes of the students standing on the podium reciting the history are interspersed in the middle of the film, matching the video materials of the past. The very lonely scene awakened the numb people. We should remember these people and those things buried in the vast history, so as to awaken our conscience that is about to be paralyzed.
From this, it is conceivable that Dan Ding was a young man full of enthusiasm and political aspirations in his youth, hoping to make a difference. He wants to save the world. But now, all the thoughts can only be directed at these children who still don't understand theories. How many of them can really understand the teachers who are dreaming on the podium? Therefore, looking at Dan's eyes during class always made me feel a little sad.
When Dan's students said to him, "You are also part of the'machine'", Dan's words seem to tell us that he admits that he is also part of the state apparatus that he has always resisted. He said, "We may run counter to this machine, but we are still part of this machine. Although I work for the government and schools, I am outside of many policies at the same time." Yes, this is the cruel reality. . Even if we have more dissatisfaction, even if we are not mainstream, we are still part of the state apparatus. At this time, all we see is a person who accepts reality, a weak person who doesn't know how to change even a little bit.
When Dan was lying on the office sofa during class and was about to collapse, we knew that the idealism that was once the supporting point of life has been weakened, and even the sense of mission to awaken the students is no longer strong. The content of each lecture is a sharp edge to uncover his scars. How much can those idealistic theories change this suffocating world?
Identity 2:
The friendship between friend Dan and Durrell is the main line of the story. They really met because Dan was discovered by Durell when he was taking drugs in the bathroom. Dan, who collapsed on the ground, said helplessly, "I'm good, I'm sorry, I'm good." He needs help, but the people around him Leave too much. So when Durrell was about to leave, Dan kept saying "Don't leave, just one minute", and then held her hand on his forehead. Dan was so lonely and powerless.
Undoubtedly, they are friends, from the initial test of each other to the subsequent belief. But the conflict between the teacher and the student always made Dan hesitate. Dan wanted to protect Durrell and send her home because he was afraid that Durrell would be harmed. Dan is used to looking at Durrell's seat before class, driving her home, taking Durrell home and cooking together...The contradiction seems to have risen to the night when Durrell sold drugs to Dan for drug dealers. At the top, Dan fell into despair, and he felt like he was going to finish. He felt that Durrell was about to leave him, just like his original girlfriend.
I remember seeing his girlfriend's wedding ring in the park, Dan leaned back on the chair in pain. His girlfriend said, "Some people have indeed changed." Dan lowered his head and said, "It's not me, I can't change because I'm still a bastard." His girlfriend looked at him and said, "You're not a bastard, you're just a big kid. "
Yes, Dan is just a big boy. He refuses to change and selfishly uses his own understanding to see everything happening around him. So Dan always makes people around him miserable and then leaves him. And how would Dan feel better? Constant disappointment and helplessness eat away at his body. Whenever he is hurt, he will use drugs to numb him when he is weak. The drugs numb his pain, and all the things that make him powerless are melted in sweat. My mind is blank, so I don't have to think about anything. He couldn't face this kind of weakness and didn't have the courage to admit it, so he refused to mention drugs with Durrell.
Dan said, "I worked hard and cheered up. This is really useful for some people. My former girlfriend is about to marry, so it really works, but it doesn't work for me. I am too focused on my students... …" The slow and sad music is full of thoughts, and I feel sad for this man trying to wipe his tears. Yes, yes, every time he cleans up the house, exercises, and dumps the full cigarette butts in the ashtray, I feel that he is trying to cheer up. However, the girlfriend has left, the friend has left, the family does not understand, the cat is dead, the ideal is shattered...How can it be so simple to find the courage to continue again?
When all reasons cease to be reasons, how can we continue to live with confidence?
But we still have Durell, this lovely angel did not leave Dan at the end. Durell went to Dan's house to find him. The two sat facing each other, she handed him a lollipop that she liked very much, and then asked, "Did you think about it?" Dan settled and remained silent. Then we saw him shave his beard, comb his hair, change his clothes, and prepare for a new life. Seeing this, I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. I always felt desperate before. Dan seemed to have only one option to commit suicide, but I forgot Durell. At this time, she gave Dan a reason, or Dan saw something new from her and could continue to start from scratch. Reason. In short, Dan can live a new life.
We should be happy. Such a helpless day is finally over. The lens of the
movie
film is often shaken and the focus is a bit blunt, but it makes people feel more like a documentary, and the real thing seems to be around. I'm not the Chinese that I like to translate, maybe "nelson" is too easy to be misunderstood as a name. In fact, the interpretation of "half nelson" can be to hold the opponent's arm from behind and press hard to subdue the opponent. This seems to be a fighting method. I prefer this kind of understanding, because it makes me feel that the movie is stating people's state, as if it is the resistance of the weak to life, which makes people feel helpless and more tragic.
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