let me be honest

Rue Bennett: Look, Ali, I know you don't believe me, but I'm... I'm doing really good, actually.

Ali: Is that so?

Rue Bennett: Yeah... mmm, yeah, for sure. I mean it, you know, could suddenly shit flip and get super dark? Yeah, you know. I mean it could, but... I feel like I've found this, like, amazing balance, where I'm like happy and healthy, and I'm not, like... looking to anybody else for that happiness, you know? Fuckin' Jules. The way I was, like, putting way too much of my emotional well-being in her hands, you know, without ever, like, talking about it, or, or saying it. I... especially the way I was fuckin'... making plans for the rest of our life and shit. And I just... and I look back and I'm just like, why the fuck did I do that? It's fuckin' crazy. And weird.

[scoffs]

Rue Bennett: Eh, I don't know. I guess I just, like, made her the point. But she's, like, not the point. I'm the point, you know?

Ali: Hmmph. The point is your sobriety.

Rue Bennett: Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And, and like, my, my general overall well-being.

Ali: Which starts with your sobriety.

Rue Bennett: Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, like, finding an emotional balance, you know?

Ali: You just said you found an amazing balance.

Rue Bennett: I... I did. I have. I... I mean, but I'm not perfect, you know, so... I'm, I'm sane, though. Like, I'm sane. Saner. I'm making sane decisions.

Ali: Rue. You're high.

Rue Bennett: [chuckles] I feel like you're not listening to what I'm saying.

Ali: Rue, I don't think you're listening to what you're saying.

Rue Bennett: I feel like that's physically impossible.

Ali: To what? Talk some bullshit?

Rue Bennett: [Rue scoffs] Huh. You know, that's what, like... I... I don't understand about the world. 'Cause, like, there is tons of people who, you know, drink and do drugs, and sometimes their life is good. And sometimes, life's just bad, you know? It's fucking life. There's ups and downs to this shit, but, I mean, whether you believe me or not, I'm, like, I'm good.

Ali: Yeah, yeah, you said that.

Rue Bennett: Yeah, I mean, it's not like I'm doing a bunch of shit. I'm just smoking a little bit of weed, and taking some pills that were prescribed to me.

Ali: My point is, it's not gonna last.

Rue Bennett: Yeah, well, neither do my moods when I'm sober.

Ali: Okay, well, you know, I'm not saying you're, um, a paragon of mental health. You've got your issues, and you're gonna be struggling with those issues for the rest of your life. That's a fact. The problem is, is that you look at sobriety as a weakness in the face of those issues, and what I'm saying is, sobriety is your greatest weapon.