Don't turn your head, don't look around, yes, old bastard, that's you, four stars for you.
A bunch of snarky, snarky, eccentric old bastards who think they're unrepentant, don't admit their mistakes, and gamble with the world's ugliest agent in a crappy apartment.
A bunch of old bastards who taught bad kids to sing "Christmas Everywhere" with a bunch of sexy flaming red-lipped chicks.
An old bastard who is sloppy and joking.
But, but, so what? How can I resist the clumsy but warm embrace of two old bastards on a cold winter night?
Here are some of my favorite conversations. Very funny. Makes you cry and laugh.
+++++++++++++++++++dividing line++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
First It's that hug about two old bastards.
Joe: What the hell are you doing here? You`re supposed to be at Elton John`s. What the hell are you doing here
? You should be at Elton John's house.
Bill: Well, I was there for a minute or two and then I had an epiphany. Well, I was there for a minute or two and then I had an epiphany
.
Joe: Relly?
Really?
Bill: Yeah.
Yes.
Joe: Come on. Just come up. So what was this epiphany?
Come on, come up first. So, what kind of epiphany?
Bill: Erm, it...it was about Chrismas.
Well, it...it was about Christmas.
Joe: You realised it was all around.
You realised it was all around.
Bill: No.I realised that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
No. I realize when you're with your loved ones at Christmas time.
Joe: Right. Right
.
Bill: And I realised that, as dire chance and fateful cock up would have it, here I am, mid-fifties, and without knowing it, I`ve spent most my adult life with a chubby employee. And, much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact...you.
I also realize that because of the horrific mess of chance and fate, I am now, in my 50s, in I spent my adult life without realizing it...with a fat employee (who he calls the ugliest agent Joe in the world). And, as sad as it may be to say that, the truth is that the person I love could be... you.
Joe: Well, this is a surprise. Well, this is a surprise
.
Bill: Yeah.
Yes.
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John`s and you`re gay? Ten minutes at Elton John`s and you`re gay
?
Bill: No, look. I`m serious here. I left Elton John`s and a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open in order to hang out with you at Christmas.
No, look. I was serious. I left Elton John's house where there was a whole bunch of half-naked teenage girls with their mouths open just to hang out with you at Christmas.
Joe: Well, Bill...
Well, Bill...
Bill: It`sa terrible, terrible mistake, chubs... but you turn to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining... we have had a wonderful life.
It was a terrible, terrible mistake, friend...but you are the one I love in my life in the end. Honestly, despite all my complaints... we have a pretty good life together.
Joe: Well, thank you. I mean, come on, it`s been an honour. I feel very proud.
Well, thank you. I mean, well, it's an honor. I am very proud. (reaches out to shake Bill's hand)
Bill: Oh, look, don`t be a moron.
Oh, hey, don't be a fool.
(An old bastard and a fat agent hug awkwardly)
Bill: Come on, let`s get pissed and watch porn. Come on, let 's get drunk and watch porn
.
+++++++++++++++++++divide line++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
then It's a conversation between boss Harry and employee Sarah. If only I had such a boss.
Sarah: Harry?
Harry: Sarah, switch off your phone and tell me exactly how long it is that you`re been working here.
Sarah, switch off your phone first , and tell me exactly how long you've been working here. .
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours? Two years, seven months, three
days, and 2 hours or so?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer? How long have you been in love with our enigmatic chief
designer Karl?
Sarah: Um, Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and 30 minutes.
Ah...two years, seven months, three days, and I suppose, an hour and a half.
Harry: Thought as much.
I guess so.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows? Does
everybody know?
Harry: Yes.
Yes.
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows? Does
Karl know?
Harry: Yes.
Yes.
Sarah: Oh, that is...that is bad news.
Oh, that is...that is bad news.
Harry: I just thought that maybe the time had come to do something about it.
I think it's time for you to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
For example?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink then casually mention you`d like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies. Ask him out for a drink and
tell him in a relaxed tone that you want to marry him and have kids.
Sarah: You know that? You know that
?
Harry: Yes. And so does Karl. Think about it, for all our sakes. It`s Christmas.
That's right. Karl knew it too. For everyone's sake, think about it. Christmas is almost here.
Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss.
Of course. no problem. I will handle it. thank you boss.
+++++++++++++++++++ split line++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
again Then there is the dialogue between the father and the cute son Sam.
So, what`s the problem, Samuel? It is just Mum or is it something Father: else, huh? Maybe school? Are you being bullieb? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam, you Any trouble? Is it just a mom thing or something else? Maybe a school thing? Did someone bully you at school? Or something more serious? Can you give me a clue?
Sam: You really want to know? You really want to know
?
Father: I really want to know.
I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won`t be able to help? Even though you won't be able to help
?
Father: Even if that`s the case, yeah. Even if that's the case, yeah
.
Sam: OK. Well...truth is, actually...I`m in love.
Well. The truth is, actually... I'm in love.
Father: Sorry?
What?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum and I am but I`m in love. I was before she died and there`s nothing I can do about it.
I know I should be sad about Mum now, I am really sad , but I am in love. I was in love before she died, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Father: Aren`t you a bit young to be in love?
Would it be too early for you to fall in love now?
Sam: No.
No.
Father: Ah, well. OK, well...I`ma little relieved.
Ah, well...I'm relieved.
Sam: Why?
Why?
Father: Because I...thought it`d be something worse.
Because, I thought it was something worse. (Poor this father has been worried about his son injecting heroin into his eyeballs. = =!)
Sam: Worse than the total agony of being in love? Is
there anything more serious than the pain of being in love?
Father: Er...No, you`re right. Total agony.
Ah...No, you're right. The pain of love.
+++++++++++++++++++ split line++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
again Then there is the conversation between the lovely and handsome Prime Minister and the handsome and fat assistant Natalie.
Natalie: He said I was getting fat.
He said I was too fat.
Prime Minister: I beg your pardon?
Excuse me?
Natalie: He said on one`d fancy a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks.
He said no one likes a girl with thighs as thick as tree trunks. (The man who said this should be dragged out and beheaded!)
Natalie: Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
He's not a good man after all.
Prime Minister: No.You know, erm...being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Indeed. You know, uh... as Prime Minister, I could put him to death.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I`ll think about it.
Thank you, sir. I will think about it.
Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless, trained killers are just a phone call away.
Consider it. The Royal Airborne Forces are quite charismatic. Cold-blooded professional killers are just a phone call away.
+++++++++++++++++++Split line
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Just some loose sentences. All are my favorites.
Love actually is all around.
True love is everywhere. When I was young and successful, I
was greedy and foolish, and now I`m left with no one, wrinkled and alone.
Wrinkled and alone.
Enough. Enough now.
Enough. That's enough.
Yes is being my answer. Easy question.
My answer is, ok. Very easy question.
View more about Love Actually reviews
