Harry Potter + Superman Feelings

Shazam: Dude! Dude! Dude! Dude, did you see that?

Freddy Freeman: Yeah. You electrocuted a bus and almost killed these people.

Shazam: And then I caught it! Freddy, I caught a bus with my bare hands, man! I caught a bus like people catch fly balls. Like, who does that? I do that!

Freddy Freeman: Billy, you do nothing. You, you take selfies and make people pay you. You know, forget it. I can't really talk to you when you look like this.

Shazam: You just wish it was you!

Freddy Freeman: No shit! You think I wouldn't kill to have what you have? Because everything I do is, like, some desperate attempt to get people to notice me, to not feel sorry for me. I mean, look at me! Look at me! Do you even see me? Cause most people don't! Cause they don't want to. And now you don't, either. I mean, you think this is who you are? I mean, Billy, you're 14. And now you're no better than the Breyers. All this power, and all you did was turn into a show-off and a bully.

[Freddy walks away]

Shazam: Whatever, kid! I do what I want! And I'm like, mid-20s probably! Maybe even, like, 30.

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: Chosen one.

[Shazam turns around and sees Sivana]

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: The so-called perfect man. Pure of heart. Flawless in every way.

[Sivana looks at Shazam's costume]

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: What made you so worthy?

Shazam: I'm sorry, can I help, can I help... Do you want an autograph or something?

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: Give me your power.

[Sivana removes his sunglasses, revealing the Eye of Sin as his right eye]

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: Or die.

Shazam: Oh, snap! You're like, a bad guy, right? Okay. Okay, okay, okay, look. Before this gets really stupid for you, you should know that I'm basically invincible. So you...

[Sivana punches Shazam in the stomach before doing an uppercut that sends him flying upward and crashing on a police car]

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: The weapons of man draw no blood from our kind.

[Sivana zaps two police officers on his left]

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: The only thing that extinguishes magic... is magic. Time to transfer your power to me.

[Shazam suddenly punches Sivana in the crotch]

Shazam: Oh, ho ho ho ho! Oh, you didn't see that one coming, did you, grandpa? Them's street rules.

[Shazam throws a punch at Sivana, but Sivana catches his fist and grabs him by the throat. He then flies up in the air with Shazam]

Shazam: Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never should've punched you in the nuts like that. That was totally my bad! We can talk about this!

Dr. Thaddeus Sivana: You grovel like a child.

Shazam: That's because I am one. I-I'm a kid! You don't wanna hurt a kid, do you?

[Sivana punches Shazam down back to the city]

Shazam: I believe I can fly! I believe I can fly! I believe I can fly! Freddy said if I believe I can fly, then I can fly! So I believe! I believe! I believe! Okay.

[Shazam does a Superman flying pose]

Shazam: Superman! Superman! What arm is it? Why am I not flying? Please, I don't wanna die!

[Shazam closes his eyes before crashing on the road below. He then opens his eyes and discovers that he is floating]

Shazam: I'm floating!

[Shazam gets hit by a truck and falls off the freeway. Several drivers get out of their cars to see where Shazam fell, but he rises up]

Shazam: I can fly!

[Shazam is attacked by Sivana]