Ace Ventura: Pet Detective evaluation action
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective quotes
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[Aguado stomps on a cockroach to provoke Ventura]
Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
[everyone laughs]
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK, and became insanely jealous.
[everybody "oohs"]
Ace Ventura: Then I'd lose 30 pounds... porkin' his wife!
Aguado: Why you...!
[Aguado charges Ace, but Ace makes him do a face-plant that ends with his face just an inch or so from the dead bug]
Ace Ventura: Now, kiss and make up.
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[Ace Ventura is trying to get his car started, while looking at somebody smashing it with a bat in his mirror]
Ace Ventura: Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.