All Over the Guy movie plot
-
[discussing the bad dates Brett's set Eli up on]
Brett Miles Sanford: Look I know it didn't go all so, you know, that well last time with... Richard, was it?
Eli Wyckoff: Rita! From UPS. She was a woman!
Brett Miles Sanford: Whatever, she was still gay. That's your problem, you're so picky.
-
[discussing Eli's bad date with Tom the previous night]
Eli Wyckoff: He kept saying, "You do the math," even when it made no sense sense. What a turn-off.
Brett Miles Sanford: What's the turn-on? According to your mother you haven't had a hard-on since she first took you to see THE NUTCRACKER at the Jewish Community Center in first grade.
Eli Wyckoff: Stop talking to my mother about my sex life.
Brett Miles Sanford: What sex life?
Eli Wyckoff: I have one!
Brett Miles Sanford: Uh huh, right.
[makes jerking off motions]
Eli Wyckoff: Ok, y'know, it counts. I spent 10 years learning which buttons to push, now I just have to look at myself and I cum.
Brett Miles Sanford: Eww.