Midsommar evaluation action

Christian: Hey, dude.

Josh: Hey. Holy shit, right?

Christian: Are you okay?

Josh: Yeah, fine.

Christian: Good.

[pause]

Christian: Hey, listen. Um... I've been thinking about something that I wanted to ask you, or tell you, actually. Um... I've been thinking a lot about my thesis, and, um, I've decided I'm going to do it here, on Hårga. And I wanted to tell you first, just so it didn't seem like I wasn't telling you.

Josh: I feel like... I feel like I can't tell if you're joking.

[pause]

Josh: I mean, you know I'm doing my thesis on midsummer. That's the reason why I'm here.

Christian: Yeah... Yeah, but not on this community. I mean, you're going to Germany and England next.

Josh: Well, you knew I was gonna want to do this.

Christian: No.

Josh: Oh my God...

Christian: I mean, did you even know until just now?

Josh: Christian, of course you did.

Christian: Okay, do you think I don't know what you're doing? It's actually kind of outrageously unsubtle. The fact that you're being this bald about it. I'm honestly kind of impressed.

Josh: What the fuck, man? What does that mean?

Josh: Yeah, what the fuck! This is what I've been working toward, and you know it. That's why you look so guilty right now because you know... You know that what you're doing is unethical and leechy and lazy, and frankly it's kind of sad.

Christian: Fuck you.

Josh: No, dude, not fuck me. Find your own subject or your own passion. And... Because... All right, look. This... I am... I am actually invested in this. This is not some glorified hobby that I'm casually dipping my feet into.

Christian: Okay. In case you hadn't noticed, Your Highness, we're doing the exact same degree.

Josh: No, but not in the same way, Christian! Okay? I have to hold your little hand through everything. You didn't even know how to use JSTOR until I taught you, and you are a fucking grad student. Why are you even in academia? You don't care! Which is fine. That is your prerogative. But do not appropriate my actual work for your new shortcut.

Christian: [pause] I'm gonna do my thesis here. If you're going to do it here too, I'm open to collaborating. And if not, I guess we can both do separate theses on the Hargas.

Arne: We describe it like emotional sheet music.

Josh: What does it say?

Arne: Well, each runic letter stands for one of the sixteen affekts, which are graded from most holy to most unholy. This one, for example, is about grief. You can see at the end, however, we have blank pages. This is because the Rubi Radr is a work forever in progress. Forever evolving. We have many, many hundreds of these.

Josh: And who decides what gets added?

Arne: Well, this iteration is being written by Ruben.

Josh: Uh, the disabled...

Arne: Since birth. He draws, and we the Elders interpret. You see, Josh, Ruben is unclouded by normal cognition. It makes him open for the source.

Josh: Uh... what happens when Ruben... dies? Do you just wait for a baby that is... not clouded?

Arne: No, no, no. Ruben was a product of inbreeding. All of our oracles are deliberate products of inbreeding.

Josh: Can I take a photograph?

Arne: What?

Josh: Uh, a photograph?

Arne: No! Absolutely not.

Josh: Okay, sorry.