Fatman Quotes

  • Chris: I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've lost my influence. Maybe it's time I retired the coat.

    Ruth: You still have it...

    Chris: Some kids with a deer rifle put two holes in the sleigh and one in me! All I have is a loathing for a world that's forgotten me.

  • Chris: I'll come while you sleep. The Fat Man has got his eye on you kids.

  • Skinny Man: I've come for your head, Fat Man!

    Chris: You think you're the first? You think I got this job because I'm fat and jolly?

  • Ruth: [on their payment check] This won't even cover the power. We have employees to pay, food to buy, and quite frankly, this is one humdinger of a time to lay this burden on us.

    Chris: No, we're only the largest economic stimulus in the entire world. Christmas generates three trillion dollars in the US alone. We can't even pay our power bill. You think there's something wrong with that?

  • [after getting a lump of coal for Christmas]

    Billy Wenan: [screaming] You just messed up big time, fat man!

  • Weyland Meeks: Um... can I help you?

    Skinny Man: I'm looking for the fat man. Where is he?

    Weyland Meeks: Excuse me?

    Skinny Man: Santa Claus, MF'er!

  • Skinny Man: How much do you think your childhood wish/gift is worth?

    Skinny Man: [slams baseball bat down] I'll give you 900 dollars or you can FUCK OFF

  • Ruth: Why are you being like this?

    Chris: Because I failed.

  • Skinny Man: You know what I got for Christmas when I was a kid?

    [shows off burns]

    Skinny Man: You never forget the smell of burning flesh and menthols.

  • Chris: [brooding] Christmas is a farce and I am a joke

    Chris: [confronting skinny man] Jonathan Miller... you twisted child

  • Ruth: You've changed.

    Chris: Well maybe I have.

  • Skinny Man: [on his toy car] Remember this? This was the only goddamn thing you ever gave me! And after all those letters I wrote you.

    Chris: I'm sorry, son. There are limits to what I can do. I couldn't replace your parents.

  • [last lines]

    Billy Wenan: We'll see who catches the rat... Grandma

  • Chris: A wicked soul bent on vengeance and bloodshed came to my door... like you Billy... he's burried

  • Ruth: [executes Skinny man] I'm so sorry

  • Border Agent: What's the purpose of your visit?

    Skinny Man: [pleasantly handing over his passport] Recreation. Hunting. I'm gonna kill some things.

  • Chris: [walking and talking] It's gonna be a squeaker, even if everything goes perfectly.

    [handing his coffee mug to a passing elf]

    Chris: Refill. Thanks...

    Elf 7: Which it never does.

    Chris: When have you seen it go perfect?

    Elf 7: 1910 was close.

    Chris: Well, a bad war that year.

    Elf 7: You can't blame yourself...