Jack-Jack Attack Quotes

[doorbell rings. Kari rushes to door, exhausted]

Syndrome: Is this the Parr residence?

Kari: [maniacally] Yes! I'm Kari - the babysitter!

Syndrome: Well, hello - Kari.

Kari: You're my replacement, thank heavens you've come! What does "S" stand for?

Syndrome: It stands for... sitter. Yeah, sitter. I was originally going to have initials for babysitter but then I would be going around with a big BS, and you can understand why I couldn't do that.

Kari: Now, who's ready for some neurological stimulation?

Jack-Jack Parr: [looks up from his orange] Eh?

Kari: Okay, we're going to calm things down a bit and look at flash cards; won't that be fun?

[Kari begins playing tug-o-war with Jack-Jack over a flash card. Kari wins and holds the card up]

Kari: Triangle.

[Jack-Jack glares at her and makes a triangle with his hands and coos]

Kari: Good, house.

[Jack-Jack glares at her again and makes another triangle with his hands and coos again]

Kari: Campfire.

[Jack-Jack looks at the card and bursts into flame]

Kari: [pitch black] Wow, it's dark in here.

[Rick Dicker turns the light on]

Kari: Wow! And now it's too bright!

Agent Rick Dicker: File 82-7-0-2. Agent Rick Dicker interrogating. State your name, please.

Kari: Kari McKeen. It's like Carrie, only with a K instead of a C, and an "ah" instead of an "a", only one R, and an I instead of an I-E.

Agent Rick Dicker: Tell me about the incident.

Kari: Well... It started out like any normal sitting gig, you know, with the reassuring of the parent and all.

[cut to the Parr household, where Kari is talking on the phone with Helen]

Kari: Mrs. Parr, I can totally handle anything this baby can dish out.

[turns to Jack-Jack]

Kari: Can't I, little boo boo? Who can handle it?

[the airplane's alarm is heard on the other end of the line, and the call disconnects]

Kari: Uh Mrs... Mrs. Parr? Oh well, she knows you're in good hands.

[hangs up]

Kari: Now, who's ready for some neurological stimulation?

Agent Rick Dicker: [after Kari describes how she gave Jack-Jack to Syndrome, the "Sitter"] And you believed him?

Kari: The baby was EXPLODING! YOU EVER SAT AN EXPLODING BABY BEFORE, MR. DICKER?

[he gets up and pulls down an odd contraption]

Kari: What's that?

Agent Rick Dicker: Have you told anyone else about this? Your parents?

[he aims the device's laser at Kari's forehead]

Kari: Nah, they thought I was being funny. But you believe me, don't you, Mr. Dicker?

Agent Rick Dicker: Sure, kid.

Kari: Ah, I just wish I could forget the whole thing.

Agent Rick Dicker: You will, kid.

[he fires a corded plunger-like attachment which sticks to her forehead]

Agent Rick Dicker: You will.

[Kari passes out]