Paddington 2 Quotes

Mary Brown: Mysterious things have been happening all over town.

Phoenix Buchanan: Oh yes?

Mary Brown: Strange characters turning up at every landmark in that book.

Phoenix Buchanan: Are they!

Mr. Curry: [into megaphone] We don't want him here.

Henry Brown: No, of course you don't. YOU never have! As soon as you set eyes on that bear you made up your mind about him. Well Paddington's not like that. He looks for the good in all of us and somehow, he finds it! It's why he makes friends wherever he goes. And it's why Windsor Gardens is a happier place whenever he's around. He wouldn't hesitate if any of *us* needed help! So stand aside, Mr Curry. 'Cause we're coming through!

Paddington: Have you ever been fired, Mr. Brown?

Henry Brown: Well, no. But, er... are you, you quite sure you're ready for the workplace, Paddington?

Phoenix Buchanan: Exit bear, pursued by an actor... ugh!

[falls into train car]

Phoenix Buchanan: [laughs] Oh very very funny. Anyway! They do say that at Madame Kozlova's all your dreams come true. So, if you had one wish tonight what would it be?

Paddington: Oh that's easy. I'd like to get my Aunt Lucy a birthday present.

[the crowd all say 'Aw']

Mary Brown: [quietly] Darling.

Phoenix Buchanan: But! I do have a little bit of good news that might turn your frown, upside down.

Mary Brown: Oh yes?

Phoenix Buchanan: It looks...

[crosses his fingers]

Phoenix Buchanan: ... fingers, fingers, fingers - as though the funding may be coming through for my one-man show.

Mary Brown: Oh. Right.

Phoenix Buchanan: It's an evening of monologue and song featuring some of my better-known characters. Would you like a little preview?

Judy Brown: Guess what, Paddington?

Paddington: [drinking from the teapot] H'm?

Judy Brown: The steam fair's coming to town.

Paddington: Unh!

Judy Brown: I'm going along tonight to write about it in my newspaper.

Paddington: H'm!

Jonathan Brown: Who's going to want to read about that?

Judy Brown: Everyone! They travel the world in a old steam train! I thought you'd love it!

Jonathan Brown: I do. Don't tell anyone, OK? Not cool.

Mary Brown: Why don't we all go?

Henry Brown: Good idea!

Mary Brown: Your father's a dab hand at coconut shy. Bullseye Brown they used to call him.

Henry Brown: Well, not anymore. Coconuts are a young man's game.

Warden Walker: Paddington Brown. Ten years, for grand theft...

Paddington: Oh! But I...

Warden Walker: ...and grievous 'barberly' harm.

Mary Brown: What happened to the man I married? He'd have believed me.

Henry Brown: Oh, him. He's gone.

Henry Brown: Would you excuse us a moment?

[flicks a switch]

Henry Brown: What are you doing?

Mary Brown: Talking to the nice men.

Henry Brown: Nice men? Mary, we can't trust these people. I mean look at them! Talk about a rogues' gallery. Hideous! And as for that bearded baboon in the middle, he's hardly got two brain cells to rub together.

Knuckles McGinty: We can still hear you, Mr Brown. That was the light you turned off. The microphone is on the other side. It's got 'microphone' written on it.

Phoenix Buchanan: [brandishes a sword] Stage combat. Level Four.

Mrs. Bird: [grabs a nearby rifle] Well, where I come from, *laddie*... they teach you never to bring a knife to a gunfight!

[cocks the rifle]

Phoenix Buchanan: I think you'll find that fires plastic darts.

Mrs. Bird: [fires a dart into the middle of his forehead] So it does.

Phoenix Buchanan: [pulls off the dart] Whereas this sword - looks very sharp!

Paddington: [buried under a mound of sacks of oranges] These sacks are awfully heavy.

Knuckles McGinty: Well, take them one at a time, then!

Paddington: Right. One at a...

[Knuckles throws a sack on him]

Paddington: ... time.

[crossing back and forth carrying a single orange:]

Paddington: One juicy orange. Two juicy oranges. Three juicy oranges. Four juicy...

Knuckles McGinty: [angrily] Now what are you doing?

Paddington: Taking them one at a time!

Knuckles McGinty: ONE *SACK* AT A TIME!

Mrs. Bird: Well I believe you, Mary.

[sotto voce:]

Mrs. Bird: Actors are some of the most evil, devious people on the planet.

Mary Brown: Are they?

Mrs. Bird: They lie for a living.

Mary Brown: Crikey.

Jonathan Brown: So - when can we expect to see Mr Buchanan back on stage?

Felicity Fanshawe: Phoenix? Oh I wouldn't hold your breath, darling.

[laughs]

Felicity Fanshawe: No, no, no, don't get me wrong. He's a TERRIFIC actor. But there is a teensy little problem.

Judy Brown: Really?

Felicity Fanshawe: He won't work with other people. Thinks they... 'dilute his talent'.

Phibs: Don't worry! I used to be a restaurant critic. It's not as bad as it looks.

Paddington: Oh!

[chokes on the prison gruel]

Phibs: It's worse.

Phoenix Buchanan: Oh, well that sounds entirely... plausible.

Henry Brown: Does it? Great! Well, I'm delighted to say that everything seems tickety-boo.

Phoenix Buchanan: Wonderful.

Henry Brown: So! I'll nip back to the office and get the boys to type that up ASAP. And we'll hope to see you soon!

Phoenix Buchanan: Indeed! Perhaps next time, *not* in your pyjamas. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Mary Brown: [laughing] He's such a silly one!

Phoenix Buchanan: Now, now.

Mary Brown: You wanted to get that book so Aunt Lucy could see London, didn't you?

Paddington: It was always her dream.

Mary Brown: Well we thought... why look at London in a book? When she could see the real thing.

[doorbell rings]

Mary Brown: Why don't you go and answer that?

[Judy and Jonathan Brown telephone Phoenix and play a recording of Felicity Fanshawe that they have secretly recorded. Phoenix doesn't realise it is a recording and thinks he is speaking to Felicity]

Felicity Fanshawe: [recording] Nice buns, by the way.

Phoenix Buchanan: I beg your pardon?

Felicity Fanshawe: [recording] Really nice buns.

Phoenix Buchanan: Thank you, darling. I've never had any complaints about Mr and Mrs Botty-Cheek.