You Only Live Twice Quotes

James Bond: Is this the only room there is?

Kissy Suzuki: Yes. That is your bed,

[points to one side of room]

Kissy Suzuki: I shall sleep over there.

[points to other side of room]

James Bond: But we're supposed to be married.

Kissy Suzuki: Think again, please. You gave false name to priest.

James Bond: Yes, but we must keep up appearances. We're on our honeymoon.

Kissy Suzuki: No honeymoon. This is business.

James Bond: [pushing aside his oyster dinner] Well, I won't need these.

Helga Brandt: [Bond is captured by Helga Brandt] I've got you now.

James Bond: Well, enjoy yourself.

[Brandt slaps him]

[about to make love to Helga Brandt]

James Bond: Oh the things I do for England.

Aki: You wouldn't touch that horrible woman, would you?

James Bond: Oh heaven forbid.

[Coded message to headquarters]

James Bond: Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honor with great success.

Tiger Tanaka: It can save your life, this cigarette.

James Bond: You sound like a commercial.

Blofeld: The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It's the last program you're likely to see.

James Bond: Well, if I'm gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?

Blofeld: Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.

Blofeld: [shows the x-ray of the PPK to Osato & Brandt] Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond.

Mr. Osato: But Bond is dead!

Helga Brandt: It was in all the newspapers!

Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive. Unless you killed him, Mr. Osato. Don't tell me you let him go.

Mr. Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him.

Blofeld: And did she?

Mr. Osato: She failed.

Helga Brandt: [to Osato] *You* should have killed him yourself. You had plenty of opportunities...

Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure.

Mr. Osato: I know, but do you see I...

Blofeld: Go!

[Osato crosses the bridge over the water where the piranhas are waiting]

Blofeld: [addressing Helga] Well.

[Helga starts across. Blofeld hits a pedal that causes the bridge bottom to drop out, sending Helga into the piranha-filled water. The lethal fish immediately converge on her and she is dead in seconds. Osato looks on in horror]

Blofeld: [addressing Osato] Kill Bond! Now!

Mr. Osato: Yes, Number One! Yes. Yes, yes.

[Bond has just sent Blofeld's henchman into the water. The piranhas immediately attack him]

James Bond: Bon appetit!

Blofeld: James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.

James Bond: Yes, this is my second life.

Blofeld: You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

Tiger Tanaka: Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.

James Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?

Tiger Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you.

James Bond: Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

[Being bathed by Tanaka's women]

Tiger Tanaka: You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.

James Bond: Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."

[James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]

James Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

Ling: You think we better, huh?

James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.

Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

[Choosing a masseuse]

James Bond: Well, I'll just settle for this little old lady here.

Tiger Tanaka: Good choice, she's very sexyful.

[Bond is caught trying to enter the SPECTRE spacecraft]

Blofeld: You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule carrying his air conditioner.

[Bond is about to have his chest waxed so he can pass for Japanese]

James Bond: Why don't you just dye the parts that show?

Tiger Tanaka: My friend, now you take your first civilized bath.

James Bond: Really?

[Bond is surrounded by four young Japanese women wearing only white bras and panties]

James Bond: Oh, I like the plumbing.

Tiger Tanaka: Place yourself entirely in their hands, my dear Bond-san. Rule number one: is never do anything yourself - when someone else can do it for you.

James Bond: And number two?

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.

James Bond: I just might retire to here.

Blofeld: You will see that my piranha fish get very hungry. They can strip a man to the bone in 30 seconds. I have decided to ask for a little money in advance. I want the sum of 100 million dollars in gold bullion deposited in our account in Buenos Aires.

Blofeld's Financier: Our agreement states quite clearly that no money should be paid until war has broken out between Russia and the United States.

Financier #2: This is extortion!

Blofeld: [shows his SPECTRE ring] Extortion is my business. Go and think it over, gentlemen. I'm busy.

Henderson: [Hands Bond a martini] Oh, that's stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?

James Bond: Perfect. Cheers.

Henderson: Cheers.

James Bond: Russian vodka. Well done.

Henderson: Yeah, I get it from the doorman at the Russian embassy - amongst certain other things.

[first lines]

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: Calling CapCom. CapCom, this is Jupiter 16. Do you give a go for fourth orbit.

Houston CapCom: CapCom to Jupiter 16. Can you confirm O2 pressure is within limit.

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: Roger. Everything looks good in the environmental control system.

Houston CapCom: Okay. Everything looks good from here. You have a go for fourth orbit.

[last lines]

Submarine Captain: Dinghy's on board, sir.

M: [referring to Bond in the dinghy] Tell him to come below and report.

MoneyPenny: It'll be a pleasure, sir.

Mr. Osato: You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.

Helga Brandt: Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest.

[Bond eyes Helga's breasts]

James Bond: Really?

Tiger Tanaka: [after Tiger's helicopter drops an enemy car chasing Bond and Aki into the Pacific ocean] How's that for Japanese efficiency?

James Bond: Just a drop in the ocean.

Foreign Secretary: As a matter of fact, our man in Hong Kong is working on it now.

[cuts to next scene in Hong Kong, Bond is in bed with a Chinese woman]

Tiger Tanaka: [discussing Osato Chemicals' supertanker, the Ning-Po, which is known to be smuggling rocket fuel] We shadowed the Ning-Po to the outer islands.

Aki: It was very dark. Hard to see her all the time.

Tiger Tanaka: But we know she stopped somewhere. Look at these photos.

[Tiger hands James photos of the Ning-Po]

Aki: Look at the water line.

James Bond: [noticing the higher water line of the ship in seperate photos] You're right. Fully laden here, and empty here.

James Bond: [getting up] I want to take a look at the island now. Is Little Nellie here?

Tiger Tanaka: Yes. And her father.

[James, Aki, and Tiger enter a nearby garage where an agitated and sweating Q is waiting]

James Bond: [sarcastically] Welcome to Japan, Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready?

Q: [annoyed] Look, 007, I've had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, and I'm in no mood for your juvenile quips.

M: [buzzing intercom] Miss Moneypenny, give 007 the password we've agreed with Japanese S.I.S.

MoneyPenny: Yes sir.

[to Bond]

MoneyPenny: We tried to think of something that you wouldn't forget.

James Bond: Yes?

MoneyPenny: "I, love, you". Repeat it please, to make sure you get it

James Bond: Don't worry, I get it.

James Bond: Do you have any commandos here?

Tiger Tanaka: I have much, much better. Ninjas. Top-secret, Bond-san. This is my ninja training school.

Houston CapCom: Hawaii to Jupiter 16. Repeat: Hawaii to Jupiter 16. There is an unidentified object on our screen, closing fast.

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: [Performing an EVA] We see nothing. Can you give me a bearing?

Houston CapCom: Appears to be coming up fast from astern

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: Hey, NOW I see it. It's another spacecraft! I repeat: it's ANOTHER SPACECRAFT!

Houston CapCom: Chris, this is flight. Does it look like a close pass?

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: You're breaking up. Say again!

Houston CapCom: Repeat: Does it look like a close pass?

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: [inside spacecraft] Hey Chris what's happening?

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: Flight, it's coming right at us! The FRONT is OPENING UP! I REPEAT: THE FRONT IS OPENING UP! It's coming right at us...

Houston CapCom: Chris, Get back in! Get back in!

James Bond: Hello, Penny.

MoneyPenny: You better go right in. You're late, as usual - even from your own funeral.

James Bond: Well, we corpses have absolutely no sense of timing.

MoneyPenny: Oh, by the way, how was the girl?

James Bond: Which girl?

MoneyPenny: The Chinese one we fixed you up with.

James Bond: Oh, another five minutes, I'd have found out.

MoneyPenny: She'll never know what she missed.

James Bond: I'd like you to examine these as soon as possible. They're from Osato's safe.

Tiger Tanaka: This is an order for naval stores. 500 kilos of butter. 50 containers of lox. What is lox?

James Bond: Oh, it's American name for smoked salmon. But, it's also the technical name for liquid oxygen - which makes rocket fuel.

Tiger Tanaka: You like Japanese sake, Mr. Bond? Or, would you prefer a vodka martini?

James Bond: Oh, no. I like sake. Especially when it's served at the correct temperature: 98.4 degrees fahrenheit like this is.

Tiger Tanaka: For a European, you are exceptionally cultivated.

Tiger Tanaka: [Three young Japanese women giving Bond a bath] Your English girls would never perform this simple service.

James Bond: I think I know one or two who might get around to it.

Tiger Tanaka: Miss Moneypenny, perhaps?

Helga Brandt: A Dom Perignon '59, Mr. Fisher? Are you really sure you won't change your mind?

James Bond: [Posing as Mr. Fisher] Well, if *you* insist.

Tiger Tanaka: Chasing girls will be the end of you, Bond-san. I have told you that before.

Aki: He didn't chase her! He did it so that I could get away. He wouldn't touch that horrible girl. You wouldn't, would you?

James Bond: Oh, heaven forbid.

Tiger Tanaka: I have much curiosity, Bond-san. What is Little Nellie?

James Bond: Oh, she's a wonderful girl. Very small. Quite fast. Can do anything. Just your type.

Tiger Tanaka: A toy helicopter?

Q: No, it's certainly not a toy! You'll see. We've made one or two improvements since you've used her last. I'll give you the drill.

Q: [Showing Bond the improvements to little Nellie, his one-man, open-air, helicopter] Right. Now, pay attention. Two machine guns, fixed.

James Bond: Synchronized to what?

Q: A hundred yards when using incendiaries and high explosives. Two rocket launchers. Forward-firing on either side.

James Bond: Fine.

Q: Now, these fire heat-seeking air-to-air missiles - sixty a minute.

James Bond: Good.

Q: Flame guns. Two of them. Firing astern.

James Bond: What range?

Q: Eighty yards. Two smoke ejectors next door to them. Aerial mines. Now, remember, use them only when directly above target. That's about the lot, I think. You know the rest, don't you?

James Bond: Yes.

James Bond: What's the plan for me?

Tiger Tanaka: First, you become a Japanese. Second, you train hard and quickly to become a ninja - like us. And third, to give you extra special cover - you take a wife.

James Bond: Now what the hell's the score?

Aki: What do you mean? My job is to help you.

James Bond: Like you helped Henderson?

Aki: I'm taking you to a place of safety.

James Bond: No, this time I'm taking you. I want some information. I want it now.

Aki: I have no information to give you.

James Bond: Well, we'll soon see about that. Slow down.

James Bond: Now, you're going to need some very close, uh, protection tonight in Tokyo, because, uh, well, that's when they'll try and get at you. You'll need the best man we've got.

Helga Brandt: And, uh, who do you suggest?

James Bond: Well... Me.

Helga Brandt: I'm afraid I have another appointment tonight, Mister Fisher.

[drops smoke bomb inside the cabin, and triggers an arm restraint]

Helga Brandt: I'm awfully sorry to leave you, but I have to get off.

[exits the airplane and parachutes off the wing]

Tiger Tanaka: [rushing into Aki's house after hearing gunshots] Do shita?

James Bond: She's dead. Poisoned.

James Bond: Gas! Get over the side! Quick!

[they dive underwater and swim out of the cave]

James Bond: Phosgene gas to keep the visitors away. You noticed the sulphur on the walls?

Kissy Suzuki: The yellow?

James Bond: Yes. There was once an underground outlet for the lava from the volcano.

Kissy Suzuki: There must be a long tunnel.

James Bond: Uh... Miles of it. Leads all the way. Right up to the top there. And that's where we have to go next. Do you think you can make it?

Kissy Suzuki: Of course. It's business.

James Bond: Is that deep?

Kissy Suzuki: They usually are. Very.

James Bond: [throws a rock onto the water's surface, but the rock clangs and rolls across the surface] It's metal!

MoneyPenny: Instant Japanese! You may need it.

James Bond: You forget. I took a first in oriental languages at Cambridge.

James Bond: It's just a ship and a strip of land. It could be anywhere.

Tiger Tanaka: My men found a microdot on the paper. Enlarge! It says: Photograph taken by female American tourist from coastal vessel. The woman has been liquidated as a routine precaution.

James Bond: Can we see the photograph again?

Tiger Tanaka: Of course.

James Bond: So they killed an innocent tourist for taking this? Can you make it bigger? Ning-Po.

Tiger Tanaka: Check motor vessel Ning-Po. Full details. All recent movements, and present whereabouts.

James Bond: What's that on the left?

Tiger Tanaka: Focus on the left! Aha! Ama. Diving girls.

James Bond: Can you identify that coastline?

Tiger Tanaka: Given time, yes.

Tiger Tanaka: If Henderson's theory is right, why would a foreign power want to launch missiles from Japan?

James Bond: Because if ever they were discovered, they could deny all responsibility. Especially if some private organization's doing the work.

Tiger Tanaka: Osato?

James Bond: Perhaps.

Tiger Tanaka: Mister Osato *is* one of the greatest industrialists in Japan.

James Bond: No, he's merely a front.

Tiger Tanaka: Who *is* big enough?

James Bond: SPECTRE.

Tiger Tanaka: Could be.

Mr. Osato's Secretary: Please come in, Mister Fisher. Mister Osato is expecting you.

James Bond: Thank you.

Mr. Osato's Secretary: You are three and a half minutes early. Please be seated.

Aki: [into radio microphone] 2-9-4 here. Tiger. Immediate.

Tiger Tanaka: Come in, 2-9-4.

Aki: Zero Zero is with me. We are being chased by gunmen. In black sedan. I'm heading south for Highway 2. Arrange usual reception, please.

James Bond: [into radio microphone] Tiger, contact M. Tell him to send Little Nellie. Repeat: Little Nellie. Suggest she be accompanied by her father. Most urgent. Understood?

Tiger Tanaka: Understood.

Helga Brandt: Do you know what this is?

James Bond: I'd rather not.

Helga Brandt: Plastic surgeons call it a dermatome. They use it to slice off skin. I hope you won't force me to use it.

James Bond: Now... What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Tiger Tanaka: Regretfully impossible. You must marry Ama girl, one who is known of the island.

James Bond: Is she pretty?

Tiger Tanaka: Hm! She has a face like a pig.

James Bond: To hell with that idea.

Aki: But this is duty.

Henderson: Now look. I think London's theory about the missile being fired from this country is right. I don't know how or where. And don't ask me *who's* doing it, either. But, uh, I have a fairly shrewd idea that a major foreign power is behind it all.

James Bond: You mean apart from Russia and Japan?

Henderson: Oh, it's not Russia, old boy, I'm sure of that. It's not Japan, either. Although, a large Japanese industrial concern i--

[abruptly stops talking]

James Bond: [while lying in his body bag] Request permission to come aboard, Sir.

Submarine Captain: Permission granted.

James Bond: Thank you!

[stands up]