See who can give the answer before the end of the semester. The true meaning of Professor Lan Bo’s words is that I don’t believe any of you can give the answer. After all, as a top figure in mathematics, he spent a lot of time. It took a long time to find the answer.
However, within two days, the answer appeared on the blackboard. However, this person does not want to show up, although showing up can enjoy a rare honor.
Professor Lan Bo wrote down the battle book again, leaving a second difficult problem. It took him and his partner two full years to solve this difficult problem.
Similarly, within two days, the "mysterious mathematical genius" gave the answer again. This time, Professor Lan Bo saw the figure of a "mysterious mathematics genius" and discovered that he turned out to be a cleaner in this building of the top university of MIT, but the cleaner did not want to be found out, so he insulted the professor. Ran away.
This is the beginning plot of the famous psychological film "Mind Catcher" (also translated as "The Sun Like Me"). Seeing this kind of plot, a word came into my mind that the world is divided. The brilliance of MIT was completely obscured by a desolate cleaner.
However, the division of the external world originates from the division of the heart. This down-and-out boy, he actually did the "right thing" in a few spare time outside of work such as solving math problems and reading books, and in most of his spare time, he was fighting, stealing and even assaulting with a few problematic youths. Police wait. Among them, he is most adept at going to MIT or Harvard University to "level a fool in three minutes."
This split-hearted boy was called Will. When Blue Bo found Will, Will had been put in jail for fighting and assaulting the police, but Blue Bo applied to be Will’s guardian and released him on bail. The conditions for bail are as follows: Two: First, Will needs to cooperate with Lamb to solve mathematical problems; second, Will needs to see a psychiatrist.
Will didn't want to see a psychologist, but he didn't want to go to jail. He had no choice but to agree to be a patient.
However, as a genius patient, Will drove five psychiatrists one after another. In the end, Lamb recruited Sean, a professor of psychology who is now a classmate of his university, to treat Will for Will.
Similarly, in the first meeting, Will also stabbed Sean. He could see Sean’s mentality at the time by observing a painting by Sean. Sean's painting is a man who draws a boat alone in a wavy sea. In this regard, Will saw two things. He said to Sean, first, you were in a storm, and second, you married the "wrong woman."
Sean was enraged. He warned Will not to insult his dead wife, and when Will said again, "Yes, you did marry the wrong woman", Sean was furious and he rushed to pinch Will's Neck and threatened that if you say that again, I will kill you.
Will was shocked. In the past, when he teased the psychologists, they first panicked, then concealed their anger, and then refused to continue to treat him. But Sean was different. He was also stinged, but he directly expressed his anger. What's more different is that the man who was irritated and stinged promised to continue to treat him.
In psychotherapy, or in all intimate relationships, this is a very critical point.
Each of us has a set of fixed logic. We believe that some of our own characteristics are the "good self", these characteristics can allow ourselves to maintain and promote the development of the relationship, and some of our own characteristics are the "bad self", these characteristics It can lead to alienation or even end of a relationship.
Therefore, when we want to be close to a person, we will show the "good me" and deliberately suppress the "bad me", and when we want to be alienated from a person, we will show the "bad me" instead of Behave "good me".
For example, when a dependent person wants to get close to a person, he will be very dependent, sometimes called "cute". On the contrary, when a dominator wants to get close to a person, he will show a very capable side.
At this time, if that person is recruited and really gets close to us when we show the "good me", and ends our relationship with us when we show the "bad me", it means that our logic is no longer necessary. It was strengthened once.
This is the root cause of our psychological problems. For example, the dependent will always find that the reason why others do not accept him is always because he is not dependent enough, and the dominator will find that the reason why others do not accept him is always because he is not strong enough. Therefore, whenever we encounter a crisis event, we will further strengthen our logic, which makes us more and more rigid.
If the treatment is effective, the key point is that the psychologist helps the client understand that he does not have to be so obsessed with that logic, that is to say, his "good self" does not necessarily promote the relationship, but his " "Bad me" does not necessarily alienate the relationship.
Will's logic is actually that "genius" is bad for me, and "medium" is good for me. In fact, he believes that genius cannot be exchanged for intimacy in a relationship, but mediocrity can do it. Whenever he shows his genius, he is actually alienating or ending a relationship most of the time. Therefore, we have seen that his cleverness has been used to stimulate the psychologist, to "settle an idiot in three minutes" and so on.
It can also be said that he actually hates his genius. He does not accept him because he is a genius. He prefers others to accept him only because of him.
The five psychologists all fell into Will's tricks, and when Will used a bad way to express his genius, they all broke off their relationship with him. Sean was different. It seemed that he was also hit by Will's tricks, the same stinging, or even more pain. But he didn't interrupt the relationship with Will at this time, but chose to show his heart sincerely.
When Sean did this, Will's world was already being turned upside down. For the first time, Will discovered that expressing anger in good faith did not mean the end of the relationship.
In the second meeting, Will's world was further subverted. Sean first admitted that Will did sting him and made him sleepless at night, but in this pain, Sean wanted to understand a lot.
Although he always uses his cleverness in attacks, Will still prides himself on his cleverness. However, Sean said to him: "When I see you, I don't see smart and self-confidence. What I see is a arrogant child who was frightened and stupid."
The meaning of this sentence was that Sean understood that Will's arrogant intelligence and self-confidence was nothing more than a defense against pain. This defense is a wall that makes Will only dare to establish a relationship with the book, but not directly with the world. Before saying this, Sean also said a shocking sentence:
You are just a child, you don't know what you are talking about.
When you ask about art, you may bring up the rough arguments in art books. You know a lot about Michelangelo. His political enthusiasm, his relationship with the Pope, and his indulge in sex, you know him well, right? ? But do you know the smell of Sistine Chapel? Have you ever tried to stand there and look up at the famous painting on the ceiling? You must have never seen it?
If I ask about women, you can tell me as much as you can. You may have been in bed several times, but you can't tell the true joy of waking up next to a woman.
You are young and sturdy. If I talk about war with you, you might throw Shakespeare to me and recite "To the battlefield together, dear friend", but you have never been in battle, and you have never tried to swarm your close friends. In his arms, watching him take his last breath, staring at you, and asking you for help.
I ask you what is love. You may sing the wind and make the moon, but you have never tried to devote yourself to the wholeheartedly, and understand each other’s heart when you exchange your eyes. Saved from the abyss of hell, you have never tried to feel caring for her in every way, you have never tried to stay with her deeply, and you will never hesitate knowing that she is terminally ill, you have never tried pain The feeling of losing love...
Sean continued, don’t think that I know you, maybe I can see you through knowledge, but that’s not you. Unless you are willing to talk about yourself, I don’t know who you are.
After saying this, Sean put down a sentence "It's your turn now". This sentence means that I am willing to face you sincerely, but are you ready to face me sincerely?
Sean's words also stung Will, or rather shocked Will. It was the first time that the "right people" treated him so frankly, and none of his previous tactics to deal with these people seemed to work anymore. So, are you willing to take a risk? Really show your heart to a psychiatrist?
In the end, Will chose to continue.
Subheading:
Choosing to continue is a willingness, which means Will is willing to try to change, but it takes time from this initial willingness to revealing his heart. Therefore, in the next two treatments, Will fell into silence for a long time. .
Sean was just as silent when Will was silent. He never speaks first, but waits for Will to speak.
This silence has two meanings. First, he is telling Will that you have the right to silence. Second, Will has to decide for himself whether to show his heart, not let the psychiatrist tempt or put pressure on Will to show his heart.
Finally, after playing the "stare game" for a long time, Will took the initiative to speak. This means that treatment has officially begun.
The first topic after the treatment has officially started is love. Sean asked Will, is he in love? Will replied that there was, but he was a little afraid to proceed.
Why? Sean asked. Will replied: "Now she is perfect, I don't want to destroy."
To this, Sean said: "Perhaps you think you are perfect, you don't want to destroy... This is an excellent philosophy, you can never know people for a lifetime."
This is the reason why countless people hesitate when they are in love. It seems that we think that the other party is too perfect, so we dare not approach or destroy this illusion, but we are actually afraid of our imperfections being seen by the other party.
When I was in college, I worked as a telephone psychological hotline, and a boy who claimed to be very handsome called me and said that he was broken in love and was in pain. But this broken love is his choice. He went shopping with a beautiful woman, and the beautiful woman suddenly said, "Wait for me." He waited for a long time before seeing the beautiful woman come back, when he suddenly understood that the beautiful woman was defecate. He couldn't bear the thought of such a beautiful beauty having a bowel movement, so he turned and left.
The implicit truth in this story is that the "beauty" of beautiful women and the "handsome" of handsome men are "good me". The reason why they can be accepted by others is because of the "good me" in appearance. When the "bad me" appears, they will not get the love and recognition in the relationship. Therefore, the boy turned around, looking like he could not accept the fact that beautiful women had stool, but in fact, he could not accept the fact that he was also ugly.
How can the client let go of his attachment to this logic during treatment? The psychiatrist can expose the trick behind the visitor’s logic, but it would be too blunt to just do so.
So Sean told a story of himself after quietly piercing Will's game. He said that his wife fart was super powerful. Once, he was awakened by his wife's fart. Then, his dog barked. Finally, his wife was also woken up and asked him if you were there. Fart, Sean said yes.
Sean couldn't help laughing while telling the story, and Will couldn't help laughing. After the story, Sean explained that truth is beauty, "Imperfection is a good thing, it can choose who enters my world... Your girl is also not perfect, the key is whether you are suitable."
This consultation After it was over, Will immediately went to see his beloved girl-Skelan from Harvard University.
Subtitle:
Will and Skellan met in a bar at Harvard University. At that time, Will and his three buddies-none of them had the opportunity to go to college-went to this bar, on the one hand to "pick up girls", on the other hand to continue Will's best game-"Three minutes to equalize one Stupid” and the “stupid” of the most famous university in the world.
Will succeeded on both sides. Will’s hardest buddy Chuck pretends to be a history student and strikes up a conversation with the beauty Skellan, but Clark, a student of Harvard University, sees that Chuck is a counterfeit, so he comes to test Chuck’s knowledge of history, but the rescued Will is humiliated. .
Not only did Will humiliate Clark, who considered himself a Harvard student, but he also won the favor of Skellan, and the two sparked sparks for the first time.
A romantic relationship is a deeper relationship than a therapeutic relationship. Since Will dare not establish a relationship with a psychologist, then he has no courage to establish a real relationship with the girl he loves. In other words, this is a more difficult challenge.
Inspired by Sean, Will finally summoned the courage to meet Skelland, and the relationship between the two has been developing smoothly.
However, the crisis has always existed. A keen audience will find that Will has never believed that Skellan loves himself, and many of Skellan's words, he explained that Skellan does not really love him.
For example, Skellan said to him, "Organic chemistry is useless for people like you." Will immediately asked who he was "such a person".
For another example, he hinted several times to Skellan that he suspected that he was just a toy of Skellan, a transitional boyfriend. His genius, poverty and legend would add some color to Skellan’s life, but Skellan, as a rich daughter, sooner or later. Will abandon him, and eventually marry a successful person.
Finally, when their love reached the first climax, it also quickly fell to the lowest ebb.
After graduating from Harvard University, Skellan will go to Stanford University School of Medicine to continue his studies, so I hope Will will go to California with her. But Will refused. He thought, what if Skellan discovers his shortcomings? Then she would not be able to stand him and abandon him.
This hurt Skelan, she said, if you don't love me, you should tell me, if you don't love me, I will disappear and won't reappear in your world.
Hearing what Skelland said, Will said immediately, I don't love you.
Hearing these words, Skellan, who lost his parents at the age of 13, stooped again in pain, and Will left.
Everyone is sticking to their own logic, and everyone is looking at each other with their own logic. As a result, the more you love, the more lonely you are, because the more you love, the more you insist on your own logic, and you can’t see the other side’s existence at this time. NS.
To Skellan, she is a "good girl", and the logic of a "good girl" is not to trouble others, so if you don't love it, just tell me and I will disappear. But for Will, Skelander's words would make him further believe that she didn't love him, and she seemed to be looking for an excuse to let her take the initiative to leave.
Skellan believes that he hopes Will will go to California with herself to prove that she loves him. But in Will's world, this relocation is the most terrible thing. He was first abandoned by his parents and then sent to foster care 4 times, of which 3 times he was severely abused. Therefore, deep down in his heart, he believes that changing a home is the most terrifying thing.
Therefore, when they love to the deepest point for the first time, they also encountered the most serious crisis. This is the result of each of them sticking to their own logic. Of course, it is mainly the result of Will sticking to his logic.
subtitle:
In fact, not only did love reach the first climax at this time, his treatment also reached a climax, and Will and Sean had established a deep trust. At the same time, Will's career seems to be at a climax. Professor Lan Bo is introducing him to Yuyu's work one after another...
But for Will, this is a kind of subversion, and he will be afraid.
Because he grew up in a harsh living environment, which made him extremely obsessed with his logic. This is what everyone has in common.
Each of us believes in our own logic. If a woman said, men are not good things. Then, the men she is close to must not be good things. Because she will fall in love with the assertion that "men are not good things". If she meets a "good man", her world will be in danger of subversion, and her heart will feel out of control. So, in order to avoid this sense of loss of control, she either stays away from good men or turns good men into bad men.
For Will, one of his assertions is "I'm just a toy". His cleverness can bring some fun to other people's lives, but as long as he shows some "bad me", an intimacy will end immediately, and the other person will Abandon him without hesitation. His past life experience has repeatedly proved this point.
Therefore, when treatment, love, and career have reached a climax, his inner struggle has also reached the most serious crisis-whether to stick to his own logic or risk accepting new logic.
Unfortunately, most of the time, we will stick to our own logic. Therefore, life is just a reincarnation.
What's interesting is that it is his best friend Chuck who resolves this crisis, which is also a touching plot of the film. While resting on the construction site, Will said that he thinks that doing physical work all day is not bad, and he hopes that their children can play and live together in the future.
Unexpectedly, Chuck told him that if we were 50 years old and you were still with me, I would kill you.
This shocked Will very much, perhaps even more shocked than when he faced Sean, because he felt that he and Chuck were such good friends and they all enjoyed their time together.
But Chuck told him that his happiest time was only 10 seconds every day, when he went to Will's house to pick him up every day. Every time, he imagined that he couldn't see Will this time, which meant that Will was in a place where he could display his talents. However, every time he could see Will open the door, this happiness disappeared.
This is a very, very important part. It seems that each of us has restricted ourselves, and we all live in various pains. However, the reason why we are stuck in this kind of pain and unable to extricate ourselves is because this kind of superficial pain actually has great benefits. The reason why we can't live without suffering is because we can't bear this benefit.
The very important reason why Will fell and wasted his talent is that he has won friendship in this way, and the friendship between him and Chuck and other three buddies is the only one in the world for many years. support.
Relationship is everything, everything is for relationship. We often talk about the sense of self-worth. In fact, what we pursue is not the sense of loneliness, but the sense of value in relationships.
In the film "Mind Catcher", love is fascinating, and the process of psychotherapy is even more fascinating. But what Will unwittingly valued the most was his friendship with troubled youths like Chuck, because this was his only one in many years. Recognize him and accept his relationship. Sean understands this, so when Lamb said Will's friend was "mentally retarded," he angrily defended Will.
So, when Chuck also said to him, you go, I long for you to follow your genius, Will is truly relieved. A good and correct life such as love and career awaits him in the front, and the urging, intimidation and acceptance of long-time buddies in the back. So why does Will hesitate?
Subtitle:
The last climax of the film is that Will finally came to Sean’s treatment room again, and Sean took Will’s dossier with his various problems and experiences of abuse, and said to him over and over again. "It's not your fault." When
Sean said this for the first time, Will said, "I know."
However, Will didn't know, he only knew it verbally. So, Sean continued.
Will was surprised. He even seemed to hate Sean saying that, so he said, "Don't tease me."
But Sean continued: "It's not your fault."
Finally, Will's defense completely collapsed, and he threw himself on Sean, hugging Sean tightly, suffering like a baby.
This kind of hug has a great symbolic meaning, which means that Will finally truly trusts a good relationship for the first time.
At the end of the film, Will drove the broken car that Chuck was waiting for his buddies to give him, and ran to California to find Skellan.
This is a great film. Both the treatment process and Will's inner understanding are very deep and true. The actors of Will and Sean also have excellent performances. With these factors, the film won the 1998 Oscar for Best Supporting Actor Award (for Sean’s actor Robin Williams) and Best Screenplay Award (for Will’s actor Matt Damon and Cha Actor Ben Affleck), and won many other awards.
However, as a psychologist, I also want to say that there is too much drama in this film. The director gave Will too many supporting factors, such as his talent, love, excellent psychiatrist, and loyal buddies. In real life, it is very difficult to obtain these factors at the same time, especially Chuck’s. I rarely see those words in real life.
Even at this point, things are always the opposite. When we want to break away from the old logic and head for a new life, those who are tied to our old logic are prone to fear and use various methods to block our change intentionally or unintentionally.
Therefore, if we want to make real changes in real life, we need more courage than Will.
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