"This is what I see and what confuses me. I look around, and there is obscurity where I see. All that nature has given me is doubt and apprehension. If I can't see any miracles, I I will become negative and pessimistic. If the signs of the Creator are everywhere, I can find peace in my faith. But as far as I can see, there is too much to deny and too little to affirm. So I am stuck That state of self-pity. I have hoped a thousand times that if there is a God who sustains nature, then nature will mark him unequivocally. If the signs given by nature are deceitful , then nature will write them off completely. Either say everything, or say nothing, so that I can understand the direction I want to follow, rather than being in this state of not knowing who I am, nor Knowing what I have to do; neither my situation nor my responsibilities. I am obsessed with finding true beauty, I want to follow it, and as long as eternity is in my mind, no price is worth it."
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