There's something I've always always wished for, when I'm involved with someone or involved in a situation—— I wish I'm a lot more mature. Sometimes i know something is going on, and i know it's nothing new, some other people must have been through it and learned from it. But i just can't think it through, and i get so sad and frustrated and torn because of it. Because i know i can't fast forward life or have a do- over, and the person or the relationship that I'm fighting for now, is not going to be there in the future waiting when i figure it out. And I'm forced to see myself screwing things up after trying very hard over and over again. And i can't give up, because if i do I'll never get there. So every time i have to naively hoping for things to work out when i know deeply it's impossible in the practical world.
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