I am also a victim of school violence.
What a cruel place the campus is, I believe everyone who has gone to school can feel it.
Elementary school was a period of time when I was bullied. I couldn't even think of a reason. Maybe it was because I was taciturn during that year. Maybe it was because I became good friends with each other's childhood. Anyway, things don't know how to start.
A girl, with her friend, threw my homework, poured my school bag, and rode on me while I was tying my shoelaces until my face was rubbed on the ground, leaving my pencil bag in the toilet full of excrement , I took away my homework while I was away, and wrote my name...
I can't remember how long I have to bear it, but I'm so tired of studying, and I often say that my heart hurts and I can't go to school. My mother took me to several hospitals and found no symptoms. My mother didn't know until one day I went home with a blue nose and a swollen face.
Knowing what can be done, call the teacher and tell the teacher a few words to other children.
Stop hitting me and lead my good friends to isolate me. At that time, I went home and lay under the desk, drew those people on the bottom of the desk, and wrote a lot of things I wanted to say next to them. In fact, it is nothing more than those few sentences: stop, get out, stay away from me, okay, hate you, bad guy.
I'm too young to even scold a fool.
I once told my brother this secret many years later. He and I lay together under the desk for a while and took me into his arms with tears. He sweated a lot that day, and it smelled so bad.
And under the desk, he was also painted, and beside it was written a lot of Get Away.
Although he was older than me, he was in the same class as me and bullied me countless times in the long elementary school. He rolled the paper into a tube and made a lot of paper ball bullets. Every time the teacher turned his head, he put the paper ball into the paper tube and blew it on me. When the class was over, I was full of paper, like a shot. Field of snow.
The math teacher liked him very much. He always turned around to tease me during class. I ignored him and he kept on. The teacher called him "What are you doing?" He immediately replied, "Yi Zai must ask me the answer." So the fierce gaze in the teacher's eyes shot at me.
So wronged.
And I later reconciled with him, and even grew closer and closer as I grew up.
Life is too complicated, and I slowly discovered that when he was bullying me, he was also going through life changes.
Those masterminds of campus violence often find that their life difficulties cannot be resolved and can only be released by bullying the weak. Just like the characters in "Thirteen Reasons", among the people who eventually led to Hannah’s suicide, apart from Bryce, who was a habitual rapist, there were almost no so-called "bad guys"—the boyfriend who spread bad words endured domestic violence. Stalkers are also being bullied, gay girls are struggling with their own sexuality... and more, even the little willfulness of some adolescent children: throw away the notes of the girls you like, secretly make a list, and knock them out I didn’t dare to call the police after the street sign.
On the way of growing up, everyone will do wrong things, and everyone will hurt her consciously or unconsciously. Hannah's final death was even more like a destiny arrangement, because all the faults of people happened to be gathered on her, gathered at the moment when she hadn't learned how to seek help.
We should love others more, but as the play says, "our love is not perfect", because we have never seen perfect love. And these imperfect loves cannot heal a person's complete pain.
This is probably the helplessness of the campus. It seems that everyone who comes here has a broken childhood, an unhappy family, and an immature mind. No one knows how to love others properly, and no one knows the consequences of his one-time performance. Those who are hurt, they want to ask for help, but they don't know how to express it; they want to know whether the future will get better, but they can't see the future at all.
I, fortunately, met a lot of kind friends and adults on the road to my future growth, and eventually grew up to be an optimistic and sunny person. But more and more people, campus violence has left them with a lifelong pain that is incurable. This pain may allow them to help the weak in the future, or it may plant a seed of hatred in their hearts to promote a New violent reincarnation.
At this point, I remembered that the American singer Lady Gaga was once a victim of campus violence and rape, and even at the peak of her life—before she performed at Madison Square Garden in 2011, she cried bitterly while putting on makeup backstage. Because I feel that I am still the loser who was bullied in high school.
I went to high school in 2011 and I was a fan of Lady Gaga, and I bought a CD of the entire concert. The performance was very shocking, but what I didn't expect was that she kept crying before going on stage. When I saw this scene that year, I was very shocked. I found that even if a person is really successful and successful enough to become a superstar in the world, in her heart, she is still the one who was thrown into the trash on campus and was thrown into the trash. , The little girl who has no place to eat in the restaurant.
This is school violence. It destroys your childhood and even affects your life. And we are not the only and final victims.
And school violence seems to never end.
Whether people are inherently good in nature or evil in nature, there may not be a unified answer. I would like to believe that many people are born kind, but more people have malice that they can't explain in their hearts. Unkind behaviors often don't even have a reason. Keigo Higashino once described a school violence in Malice . When asked why the perpetrator picked this kid to be bullied, they could only answer, "There is no reason, it's just that he is upset."
And Hannah also asked in the play: why me? Why me?
No one can give an answer to this question. Almost everyone was immersed in the malice of others, and slowly, the unnamed malice took root in their hearts.
When I was in junior high school, I liked a book called "Little Animals" . I read it many times and lent it to a girl I liked because it was written about my childhood: I was ridiculed, insulted or even beaten for no reason. There is a paragraph describing the child like this:
My child, I played and laughed with you one second ago, and turned my face to hate you the next second.
The child is, when someone hits you, he also hits you with him, even though he doesn't know you at all.
Children are the most cruel and unforgiving.
Children can be acquitted even if they kill someone.
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