Three years later, I experienced Nadine's loneliness, troubles and affections again. I no longer felt a sense of detachment, no longer floating in the air, looking down at her pain from a high altitude, and then to the seemingly lucky and peaceful life in her heart. The shadows cast on it are dismissive. This time I really feel that her badness and confusion are real, and her pain and troubles are not at all what many people see as a fuss.
From start to finish, all she longed for was to be loved—to be seen, to be understood. When Dad was alive, he was the only one who understood her troubles with being out of place and cared about her like a friend. When she didn't want to go to school because she was tired of being bullied by her classmates, he would not use brute force to pull her out of the car like his mother, but gently expressed his understanding and told her how to "revenge" the children who bullied her in a harmless way When she cut her hair badly and complained that she had nothing in life, she did not accuse her of ignorance of the sufferings of the world, but said to her gently, you still have a lot of my love.
Being bullied since she was a child, and being set off by her brother's brilliance like an ugly duckling, she is not a child full of energy, self-confidence and love. She deeply felt inferior and lonely, longing to be seen, to be understood, and to be loved. The existence of his brother made him feel inferior all the time, and he was very aware of her inferiority and loneliness weakness, and often used her weakness to poke her. They spoke ill of each other, she loved him on the one hand, and hated him for never loving her the way she loved him—she used to be so protective of him, and his crying pillow was soaked after Dad died, She was heartbroken when she saw it, and replaced the soaked pillow for herself. How much she longed to be understood, seen, protected, and loved, but she often couldn't feel it.
And when her relationship with her brother was deadlocked, her best and only good friend went to bed with her brother behind her back. Her first reaction was to point her anger at her brother. Instead of speaking harshly to her good friend, she said to her after silence: You are my friend, I love you, and it is not your fault. She was full of anger and felt betrayed. Her best friend should be on the same front as her, but she abandoned her and chose her "enemy". She may not be able to judge whether such emotions are right or wrong, and some viewers feel that she is selfish, inconsiderate and generous, but the truth is that she really feels the pain, she longs to be loved by her brother and friends, Shouldn't the person who loves her consider her feelings before doing something, should not understand, apologize and repent after hurting her; what she feels is this: they both betrayed her at the same time and didn't try to really care over her feelings.
She was trying to be considerate of her good friend, so she asked her, are you mad at me and want to get revenge on me? - If so, then I can understand. She wants the two of them to be on the same page, so she needs clarification, she needs to explain. On the one hand, she is puzzled and finds reasons for her good friend to hurt her behavior. On the other hand, she also longs for her good friend to see her pain. She needs to be understood, and she needs her good friend to know: You hurt me by doing this. Eager to let her best friend see her pain, she wanted to put herself in her shoes and consider how she was feeling, and when she didn't get a response, she was furious and made some outrageous analogies. Best friend got angry and told her to shut up. She was immediately stunned, and then apologized to her friend overwhelmed. But the good friend still did not give any explanation. Instead, he announced the couple's relationship and his identity as the hostess by inviting Nadine to his and her brother's party. Later, he left Nadine at the party, and took care of himself to mingle with her brother's friends - he didn't even think about pulling her over to introduce him and invite her to join the game together.
In the past three years, I have experienced this series of similar things and feelings, so maybe this is also compared with three years ago, I have more resonance with this movie and no longer laugh at her. The troubles are too hypocritical. Indeed, some of the domestic youth films I’ve seen are too much in pursuit of that kind of great joy and great sorrow, and by forcibly creating violent conflicts to amplify the romantic sense of vigorous life and death, but life doesn’t require that these life-and-death separations are human beings. The pain and frustration of ordinary people's youth are contained in these trivialities, these pains that yearn for love and longing for understanding but cannot.
Those things that I have tossed and turned countless times have been settled. As a "victim", I have never received any understanding, love, and no apology. I have long stopped caring about those things, but some trust has been destroyed. , and they do not have enough sincerity to repair it, so it is difficult for this trust to be rebuilt. Put yourself in the shoes and think, those who accuse Nadine of being too selfish are just putting themselves into her friend's perspective, so she's so angry that she doesn't consider her friend and brother "true love" - of course she will, she is kind A person is someone who puts other people's feelings before their own after struggling. And she just wanted a little understanding. Why does my brother live a life of stars and moon, but let others treat her as a clown, why does my mother always dote on my brother and don't like me, why is my good friend with my brother, but never sincerely express understanding and apology? She certainly didn't think they were really hurting herself on purpose, but they didn't make much effort to see her pain and repair their relationship. It is true that in this story, mother and brother also have their own troubles and pains, good friends also have their own reasons, and even scumbags are scumbags, after all, Nadine flirted with him first----I mean, Nadine finally saw someone else Suffering, but her supplementing should also be seen. The legitimacy of a pain cannot be denied just because it cannot be put on the table. It should not deny their lack of love for her by saying "moaning" and "doing it". All relationships require the efforts of both parties, and this is definitely not a unilateral problem for Nadine.
Nadine is kind. She is kind. When she feels the emotions of her friends, she immediately puts aside her grievances and anger and apologizes to her friends. She is someone who can't bear to see other people's pain. It seems that every time she reaches this point, she will forget that she is also a victim and she has not received the love she deserves.
This is her kindness, but also her weakness.
She never denied a person just because of a single injury, and she often held out hope that they would see her pain as a victim. However, the people who hurt her, including her brother, mother, and good friends - they turned a blind eye to her feelings, which did not improve much in the end. And no one told her, you are fine, please don't feel inferior, you are important, your feelings are also important, I understand your pain, I am sorry I hurt you.
She was the only one who apologized until the end.
The brother seems to have apologized, and his way of "apology" is to give her a step by showing his pain - unsurprisingly, Nadine begins to feel guilty, feels too selfish, but forgets again: her pain is again been ignored. He didn't respond positively to her apology that she was too selfish and didn't consider other people's feelings, didn't respond to her remarks about how bad she hated herself, but gave her a hug, but seemed to approve everything she said— — Acknowledging that she has always been a selfish, bad person. This hug doesn't mean "I'm sorry" but "I forgive you". Not "I see your pain" but "If you can understand me". She probably didn't realize it at all, or it didn't matter if she realized it, because her strong empathy for his tumult and the resulting self-blame, and the tenderness she hadn't had in a long time, was enough to make her feel this way. As the biggest turning point, regardless of previous suspicions, he repaired the relationship with his brother and good friend. It was she who gave in, not them. It was because of her concession that the conflict suddenly resolved when it could have been more intense. This is of course the best, if there is no latent grievances quietly accumulating.
She understands the pain of others, but her pain is only covered and forgotten, and the person who inflicted the harm has not made any real effort to solve it. I thought, how can these things really be without a trace? How much does the people around her love her, and how much "will they love"? Such disappointment and pain may still reappear. The ending of the movie is just like forcibly whitewashing peace.
Throughout the movie, what she longs for is emotional connection, heart-to-heart connection, complete trust, love and understanding - that's why when she was dating the guy she had a crush on, she was so full of emotion that she wanted to cry, telling him, I have a lot of Lots of things to say to you, and the shock, disappointment, nausea and anger when she finds out that this person has no interest in emotional connection and just wants to have a physical relationship with her. She admits that she has an old soul, so she can't be friends with her peers, so she likes to talk to middle-aged bald teachers. This kind of heart-to-heart connection cannot be obtained from mother, brother, and good friends. So I think pessimistically, they are likely to fall into a cycle of mutual consumption like many others - too much family/love harmony beneath the surface, how much quarrel, hurt, disappointment can be used to exchange Come for a brief reconciliation, a brief blind date, and then soon fall into the next cycle. I think she will still have low self-esteem, will still yearn for love and not get a response, will still be ignored, will still feel ununderstood, lonely and disappointed.
But she is kind and still young. Maybe she will find the same old soul, the same kind and simple person, this person may be the little Asian brother, or someone else; maybe she will live more and more thoroughly after repeated disappointment, gradually find herself, gradually Find the essence of love and understanding, gradually find your passion and mission, and find joy in those things. I believed her for no reason, because this time I saw myself in her.
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