**Long text spoilers**
Some people are born destined to fight their assigned gender, a lifelong battle to lose before they fight. The "male" protagonist Lana is one such person, a transgender person.
Transgender is to cross the line between male and female. It seems very close, but no matter how hard you try, you can't get there. Lana has shoulder-length blonde hair, and she's very feminine no matter what she wears, but she doesn't have the overly flirtatious sense of disobedience of a ladyboy, just passing you on the street and you wouldn't think she's a man. .
Lana lives with her father and three younger brothers, and her mother is absent but did not explain the reason. He plays the role of a sister and mother in this family, and takes care of his younger brother's daily life in every possible way. His father and younger brother have accepted his role, and even showed a very open attitude to his feminine dressing. They moved him to schools, bought him special underwear to cover up his male genitals, and accompanied him to see doctors for sex-change surgery.
Lana's dream is to be a real woman, and then a great ballet dancer. Due to the natural character of men, the teacher told him to give up before, but he did not. Instead, he continued to practice and finally entered the top ballet school in France. He is talented but definitely not the kind of genius. The teacher saw his efforts and rehearsed for him alone. He was not satisfied with his lag, and said a long sentence, don't be too harsh on yourself.
The film consists of constantly recording Lana's schedule, taking hormone medicine, examining her body, wearing a bra, putting on a lot of tape for her lower body, urging her younger brother to get up and dress him up and take him to school. He is happy to be called a sister by his teacher. Take the car to the ballet school, dance, go into the disabled toilet to change clothes, tear off the tape on the lower body (it hurts for him too), take off the ballet shoes to reveal the scarred and even bleeding toes (it also hurts for him), after taking a shower Go home and cook. The whole process seems to be plain and everyday, but it is full of repressed emotions. Lana feels an unnatural sense of disobedience in the group of female classmates. She just laughs and does not actively participate in any topic or expresses her opinion during the chat. Incomplete and suppressed all of their emotions, but begging themselves to be unnoticed as if they were transparent. When introducing himself on the first day of class, each classmate talked a lot about where he came from. He only said that he had a younger brother at home. The teacher asked other female classmates who disagreed with Lana's use of the women's locker room to raise her hand. No one objected. I was surprised by the French people's openness and identification with transgender people.
A very profound sentence in the film is that when the psychiatrist asked Lana if he had any boys he liked, he said no. The doctor asked again, I really have no illusions that there is a boy riding a bicycle at school and waiting for you to ask if you want to take you for a ride? He replied that I don't want to use this body to fantasize! Listening to me, I feel a little sad for him. A boy who is in his puberty should have burned his youth and felt the short and frivolous years, instead of obliterating all his emotions and only constantly asking himself how to become real. woman.
He has tried to develop a relationship with the boy he likes, but at the last moment he still can't face the fact that the man finds out that he is a boy and runs away, which is a heartbreaking scene.
The female classmate asked her why she didn’t always shower with everyone after dancing. He said that she didn’t sweat and she didn’t have any bathing equipment, so he was forced to shower together. They didn't mind him seeing them naked in the locker room. Although he had already expressed his unwillingness, in the end he could only obey under the pressure of the group. These things made him embarrassed and the audience felt uncomfortable for him.
Lana was too concerned about the slow progress of her hormonal drugs, and asked to add drugs but was rejected by the doctor. She kept accumulating pressure and eventually dragged her body to accept gender reassignment surgery. She fainted and missed the long-rehearsed ballet performance and her dream was broken, and finally she committed suicide. the end of the body.
In the film, the father's acting is touching, he supports his son's transgender 100%, enlightens him when he is confused and depressed, and wants to share and share all his emotions with him as much as possible. In the latter part of the film, the son is self-isolating, he feels powerless and frustrated, and he does not act. Excessive, just right.
This film is an adaptation of a real event. The male protagonist himself is not a transgender person, but his acting is very real and unpretentious. It is not easy for more than 90% of the scenes to support the whole film. Especially in boldly showing that young transgender people are struggling in the gap between men and women, and the process of longing to be understood and recognized is very well played.
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