Tequila:
A bottle in a secret wall. You really expect me to take that seriously? See, I think your story's horse shit. Y'all just trying to cover for a failed rescue mission. You're here for the lepidopterist, ain't you?
[confused look in Eggsy and Merlin's faces]
Tequila:
Okay, so your mystery bottle, huh?
[grabs a bottle of Statesman whiskey]
Tequila:
Look anything like that, right there?
Eggsy:
Yes. Same brand, much older.
Tequila:
All right. Let's see here.
[opens bottle and sniffs the whiskey]
Tequila:
You know why the measurement of alcohol content is called 'proof'?
[Tequila starts pouring the whiskey on Eggsy and Merlin]
Eggsy:
Oh, fuck off!
Merlin:
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Tequila:
See, comes from back in the old days when pirates wanted to test the strength of their rum. They used to pour a little bit out on gunpowder.
[drinks a little]
Tequila:
Oh, that'll make you wanna slap your mama right there, boy. And then the gunpowder, if it burnt when they set it alight, they considered it proof
[splashes more whiskey]
Tequila:
that their rum was good and strong. But see, I ain't got no gunpowder on me, do I? But I'm pretty sure you boys'll make just as impressive of a sound when I set your balls on fire.
[Tequila pulls out a lighter as Merlin chuckles]
Tequila:
Or you could just tell me who the fuck y'all really are and how the hell you found us.
Merlin:
Look, for the last time, we have nothing to protect but our honor. So you can take your cheap horse piss that you call whiskey, which, by the way, is spelled without an 'e' and is nothing compared to a single malt scotch and you can go fuck yourself.
[Eggsy chuckles]
Tequila:
What about you?
Eggsy:
Me?
Tequila:
Yeah.
Eggsy:
No, I love a Jack and Coke, bruv. But I do agree with the part where you go fuck yourself.
