The Witches Quotes

[first lines]

Older Hero Mouse: [chuckles] All right, then. Where were we? Oh, yeah. That's right. Now, I remember. A note about witches. See, here's the thing about them: they're real! Witches are as real as a rock in your shoe. That's the first thing you need to know. The second thing you need to know, they're here! And they live amongst us... side by side, with humans. In every big city in every small town. For all you know, a witch might be living right next door to you right now. They're everywhere! A witch might be a nurse, or your teacher, and you can bet your sweet patootie that friendly, little old lady on the bus offering you a delicious piece of saltwater taffy is a witch. And here's the most important thing, the most important thing: Witches hate children! A witch spends all her time thinking up ways to destroy children. That's all she thinks about: "How will I squish this horrible child?" A witch gets the same pleasure from squishing a child as you get from eating a bowl of ice cream covered in butterscotch syrup, with whipped cream, chopped nuts and a cherry on top.

Grand High Witch: What would you do if there were mice running all around in this hotel?

Mr Stringer: Well, I can assure you, madam, there would never be any mice...

Grand High Witch: But If there were? Hypothetically?

Mr Stringer: Mmm. Oh, hypothetically. Yes, I suppose. Well, I would... I would call the exterminator.

Grand High Witch: Exactly!

[turns to the witches]

Grand High Witch: You see, girls? He would call the exterminator! Just like any normal human with his head screwed on right, he would exterminate those brats!

Mr Stringer: Uh... rats. We would exterminate the rats.

Bruno Jenkins: Why are we mouses?

Hero Boy, Daisy: Mice!

Bruno Jenkins: Whatever.

[last lines]

Grandma: So, you ready for this mission old timer?

Older Hero Mouse: Grandma, I've never been more ready.

[being cornered by her own cat]

Grand High Witch: Remember who it was who feeds you... No, don't think about food!

Mr Jenkins: No.

Mrs Jenkins: For God's sake, I think you're being extremely unreasonable.

Mr Jenkins: No, Deidre. For the last time, I will not have that woman in my house.

Mrs Jenkins: Oh, she's very good company.

Mr Jenkins: Absolutely not, Deidre.

Mrs Jenkins: [to Bruno] Oh, for God's sake, Bruno, your face.

[wipes his face]

Mrs Jenkins: Obviously can't take you anywhere.

Bruno Jenkins: Hey. You there, and what are you doing? Breaking and entering?

Hero Boy: Looking for a quiet spot.

Bruno Jenkins: For what?

Hero Boy: Training.

Bruno Jenkins: Training what?

[sees a mice named Daisy in his pocket shirt]

Bruno Jenkins: Cool. Super. What's his name?

Hero Boy: It's a she. And her name is Daisy.

Bruno Jenkins: Can I hold her?

Hero Boy: She's not too comfortable around strangers.

Bruno Jenkins: Can she do any tricks or anything?

Hero Boy: We were just about to do some training. Want to watch?

Bruno Jenkins: What time is it? A nice lady told me to meet her here at 12:25. She said she would give me six bars of Swiss chocolate.

Hero Boy: What's your name?

Bruno Jenkins: I'm...

Mrs Jenkins: [she enters] Bruno Jenkins. I've been looking for you everywhere, young man. Your father is furious.

Bruno Jenkins: Hello, mother. This is my new friend.

Mrs Jenkins: [to Hero Boy] Nice to meet you.

[turns back to Bruno]

Mrs Jenkins: Look at your hands, they're filthy! Look at your shirt, it's a complete mess! Come with me.

[grabbing one of Bruno's ear]

Mrs Jenkins: What have you been doing? Running around in a sausage factory?

[after all the witches transformed into mice]

Mr Stringer: Somebody call the exterminator!

Grandma: We'll never let you get away with your filthy, evil plot.

Grand High Witch: Oh, no? Who's gonna stop me? A feeble, stupid, sick woman like you?