In fact, the character setting of Ying Dao is more like the male protagonist in many dramas. Growing up in a gloomy family environment, not good at expressing his emotions, always alone, looking rebellious and childish, in fact, this is his way of protecting himself. After all, he is only an 18-year-old boy, and he continues to grow in friendship and love.
His mother fled his world early. Under his father's violent and arbitrary wrong education, he used violence to vent the negative energy in his heart, armed himself with bullying, and hid his heart with loneliness. His mother was always the bottom line in his heart that could not be touched. When he found the woman his father hid, he would tremble and cry. When his former good friend threatened him with this, he would put away his provocative smile. His eyes shook like an earthquake when the girl he loved comforted him.
So he didn't say a word after knowing the secret of Eun Sang's mother, desperately changed the subject, desperately dodged and escaped, no matter what Eun Sang said, he just wanted to invite her to eat Yangchun noodles together. "What happened to me?! I can't do anything about my own injury, what can I do with your pain?! I just feel that you are gone, I am sad, you are back, I am happy, your secret is very heavy , that's it. Did I say what would I do to you?" He didn't want to show his weakness in front of her.
He had been living in a world without love. Therefore, he could stand all the accusations, beatings, and provocations, but he could not stand a little sincerity. That would easily destroy the thick armor he had finally forged for himself.
Why did his friendship with Jin Tan come to an end? Maybe it's because he can't stand an illegitimate friend. But whose fault is this? Not any of them's fault. He has always regarded Jin Tan as the one who didn't let him see his mother for the last time, but even he himself understood that it was just an excuse.
Like teenage pie. He made up an incredibly fantastical story to erase the harsh reality that he ate his mother, just to survive, or he would ruin his life in resentment against himself. This is the instinct of human self-preservation.
Yingdao is the same. He didn't hate his friend who didn't see his mother's last face, but he hated himself. His shame towards his mother made his heart extremely fragile and vulnerable. It's just that he has come this far, he can't go back, he has to hold on, because he doesn't want to lose.
You say he is childish? We don't sometimes.
He will always be just a black knight. Their happiness, he can only watch from the sidelines, his princess is someone else's queen. He will always appear beside Cinderella after she loses her crystal slipper, try his best to protect her, and always disappear behind her when she dances with the prince.
He is the warm sun in winter, you can't feel his existence, but he has been silently guarding him and giving him all the warmth. He is the moon of the night, looks cruel, but has always shed his gentle moonlight.
He knows that he will never have his princess, but all he wants is that you answer my phone in person, that you can respond when I talk to you, and that you can say hello when our eyes meet. He will get used to waiting, waiting at the coffee shop door to apologize to Eun Sang; he will get used to being alone, he is obviously a rich second generation but likes to eat instant noodles in convenience stores; he will get used to paying, what can he do to keep her from getting hurt do all.
He knows he'll never be able to get Eun Sang to open up to him, so he just looks at her in silence, asking her why she's crying but never expecting an answer. He will domineeringly say "you are mine from today", and also shyly say "it's not too late, think of it as 'early'", but he really doesn't know how to express his love. Because he has been living in a world without love.
Until he met his princess, like the green light for Gatsby, that led him out of the darkness.
When he was young, he seemed to be much more sensitive than ordinary people. The so-called sensitive means that he knows more than others and bears more than others. He could know from one look that Eun Sang didn't like him, from one look to know that she was hurt, from one look to know that she was not going to see anyone, but to let go. But he could never hold her hand or her heart.
After all, he was only eighteen years old. He also sheds tears when he is sad, smiles when he is happy, and does not know what to do when he is helpless. But he kept it all in his heart.
What does it feel like to love someone? It seems that suddenly there is a weakness, and suddenly there is an armor.
Eighteen-year-old Choi Young-do is just a fragile and strong boy who yearns for love but doesn't know how to have it. He lacks a sense of security but often brings warmth to others. If he hadn't met Eun Sang, he might have hidden himself in his armor forever. But in this love story that didn't belong to him after all, he finally understood that what really made his heart strong was not the thick and indestructible shell, but the perseverance that was unceasingly chopped like a stream of water.
The pain of youth, in exchange for growth. He is no longer the Yingdao who only bullies others, but a big warm man who occasionally acts cute, makes others happy, and always smiles.
The little prince said: If someone loves a unique flower that blooms in the vast sea of stars, then when he looks up at the stars, he will be satisfied. He would tell himself: "My beloved flower is there, on that distant star."
When a flower blooms in his heart every day, over time, the desolation will become heaven.
BY The little fat looking up at the
stars2013.11.30
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