Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

Garfield: Holy cow. I could hear my footsteps. Mom... Dad... I'm home.

Winston: Your highness!

Garfield: You're talking to me, froggy?

Winston: It's me, your trusty servant, Winston.

Garfield: Hey...

[shows off some fighting moves]

Garfield: Warning, I don't fight fair. I scratch, and I bite.

Winston: It's alright, sire. All is well now, your home.

Garfield: Home? A retirement home, a happy home? So what is this... is this an insane asylum? Am I being kidnapped?

Winston: Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, sire. Your loyal subjects await you. They need to be comforted by your word.

Garfield: Hey... trust me, windbag. There's no way I'm gonna give a speech to a bunch of deranged...

Winston: And then of course, following your words, a royal feast.

Garfield: [interested] I think I'm just gonna do a tight two minutes, see if that will calm 'em down, okay?

Nigel: Got it. Could have just come down and told me that, couldn't he? Alright, listen up. Barnyard newsflash. I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Christophe, Bolero, Eenie, McBunny: The bad news.

Nigel: Lord Dargis just threw Prince in the river.

[animals panic]

Winston: Okay, give me the good news.

Nigel: He was in a lovely picnic basket.

Eenie: If he throws us in the river, we'll never survive!

Christophe: You're ducks, you could swim.

Eenie: Oh.

Preston: [enters the barnyard with a scroll] Winston, I'm next in line for the throne.

Bolero: Uh-oh. This could get ugly.

Preston: [rolls out the scroll] I have here a new list of rules for governance.

Winston: Preston, I hardly think that's necessary.

Preston: Rule number one. The barnyard animals congregate entirely too close to the castle. We house pets need our space.

McBunny: Oh, you've got enough space, laddie, right between your ears!

[animals laugh]

Preston: You take that back! I command you! As your new king...

Winston: Look. There's still a chance Prince may find his way back here. In the meantime, Claudius, you go into the castle and find out what Dargis is up to.

I, Claudius: I'm on it. I'm your mouse on the inside.

Winston: I'll see what I can learn from my end.

Winston: Oyez, oyez. Prince XII has returned.

[ducks trumpet]

Garfield: Thank you windbag, for that flobbering introduction. Hello, everybody!

[animals look in astonishment]

Garfield: Hey, listen up...

[flicks Winston's nose]

Garfield: is this an audience or a landscape? Okay, great to be back here at the palace. I look out, I see a sea of... of dumb barnyard animals. I'm here in your country to break up a romance between the guy who owns the house I live in and a girl who's way out of his league. I know that whatever it is that you have, there's some sort of affliction that produces this glazed look behind your eyes. I hope you defeat it. Wish I could take everybody home with me. Thank you.

[walks away]

Garfield: I killed.

Winston: Very funny, sire. Well done.

Nigel: I didn't realize it was amateur hour.

Eenie: What's up with Prince?

Christophe: Oh, he's on the catnip again.

I, Claudius: Hold on, chaps! Have I got news for you!

McBunny: What's the word, Claudius?

I, Claudius: Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard and feed us to the tourists!

Nigel: Let him try. He'll have to deal with these fists of fury first, wouldn't he?

[animals complain]

Winston: Calm yourselves, everyone. We're alright as long as Prince is alive.

McBunny: Well, obviously, that feline is not Prince, you idiots!

Preston: He's not even a cat formerly known as Prince.

[animals argue]

Winston: Wait, he doesn't have to be Prince. He just has to look like him. If he fooled me, he'll fool them.

McBunny: But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat too?

Winston: McBunny's right. We must protect this cat at all costs. Our fates rely on it.