a loser move

Molly: You think I'm too perfect? So you were hoping there was something wrong with me so you could be with me?

Kirk: Look at the evidence, Molly. I'm unattractive, I'm out of shape, I'm uncoordinated, I've never been to Europe, I'm not a college graduate, I drive a Neon.

Molly: I like your Neon.

Kirk: Oh come on, Molly, look at me. I'm a 5. This is a 5. Hard 5. You can't jump more than two points. It's the Tao of Love. Everybody knows that. Even if you were a 9 and I was in a band. But no, you're a hard 10.

Molly: What are you talking about?

Kirk: Do you even know how hot you are? No, you probably think that everybody gets free shit everywhere they go and everybody's happy and nice to each other in shiny happy hot town with you and all your hot friends and ex boyfriends, but I hate to break it to you, it's not the same for the rest of us.

Molly: Okay, Kirk. You clearly have some major self-esteem issues.

Kirk: You lied about me to your parents right in front of me!

Molly: No I didn't!

Kirk: "Kirk's in aviation?" That's like saying the guy who shovels elephant shit at the circus is in show business. No, he's just the elephant shit guy. That's me. I'm that guy.

Molly: You know what, Kirk? Maybe you're right. Maybe you are a 5. You know why? No self-esteem, deduct a point. Every time someone walks into a room, you compare yourself to them. Deduct a point. You're a smart and talented guy who's afraid to do anything with it. Deduct a point. Um, how are we doing? Oh, oh yeah! Hoping that I have a defect that you can work with? Deduct whatever's left.

Kirk: I'm out of here. Webbed fucking feet, are you kidding me?

Molly: KIRK!

Kirk: Hey, do me a favor. Tell "foot long" I say hi.

Molly: He's my EX boyfriend, Kirk. EX. And do you even know why we broke up?

Kirk: Why, because you guys couldn't decide which one of you was hotter?

Molly: No, because he behaved EXACTLY like you're behaving right now. He couldn't handle it. He thought I was perfect. He had me on a pedestal that I couldn't possibly live up to! Oh, and one other little thing? He cheated on me! And so after that I said to myself I am not going to date guys like that anymore.

Kirk: Guys like that? So, what? You're just, you're going to date guys like me?

Molly: Is that what you want to hear? That I asked you out because I thought you were safe?

Kirk: Yeah, please, keep going.

Molly: That I thought that a guy who looks like you wouldn't hurt me? Is that what you want to hear, Kirk? Are you happy now?

Kirk: Yeah, I'm ecstatic.

[walks out]