The hometown that I can't bear to go back to

Kendall 2022-10-13 08:19:38

1. Charles' pathos

Charles noticed Sabastian very early on, only thought he was a beautiful absent-minded person, and didn't care about it. Until that summer night in Oxford, the fragrance of flowers outside the window was dense, and the eyes inside the window were facing each other, that was the moment when one soul fell in love with another soul. It is impossible to imagine what kind of lightning and flint that Charles experienced in his heart at that time. In Sabastian's eyes, he fell in love with his restlessness without compromise, his pain, and his recklessness.

In the first two episodes of Oxford, only Charles understands Sabastian's soul, and he is the only person Sabastian wants to share his life with. In the good time when they first got together, this true nature of chasing freedom made the two complement each other, and they didn't need too much talk. It was more like a tacit understanding that grew up together. Those details, he took out a cigarette, he would light a fire for him, when he was happy, he would sit there and watch him laugh, when he was sad, he would climb the wall to accompany him to get drunk, and each other Knowing how precious this friendship is, gradually only each other will be left. Sabastian showed Charles his teddy bear, his old nurse, his home, his father and his mistress because he knew him. This makes the trip to Venice so beautiful that looking at the two happy teenagers, it seems like these days will never end.

But understanding is not the same as redemption. Charles could understand Sabastian's pain, but he didn't know where the source of the pain came from. He was too young to perceive the crisis ignorantly, but he could not know when, where and how the disaster would come. His biggest understanding of Sabastian is that he knows that he is drunk to escape, and that life after confusion will be simple and easy to be happy. So he indulged him, gave him money at a fox hunt where he knew he was going to drink alcohol, and didn't say a word about his mother's rebuke afterwards. From beginning to end, Sabastian's experience was a bystander, unable to participate in it. It feels like your loved one is suffering from an illness, and you can neither relieve his pain nor replace it. Nothing can compare to this powerless injury, and Charles said that part of his life disappeared with Sabastian. This part is innocence, youth, ideals, and yearning for freedom. Sabastian is the dream he is always chasing. This is still prominent in the second half. Although Sabastian only appeared in a few words, every word and even every expression about him held Charles' heart tightly. He inquired eagerly and cautiously, for fear of omitting any plot, he could never forget him.

In the later period, Charles's love for Julia was somewhat suspected of being a substitute. He regretted that he did not try his best to take Sabastian when he was able to take him, so he captured Julia in order to redeem those ten years. guilt. But this time it still didn't work. This has something to do with Charles' forbearance character. He knows that he yearns for a free and free soul, but he has to be imprisoned in an atmosphere of obedience again and again, so his silence and decency are everywhere. A mockery of the world. I can no longer see the heartfelt happy smile that he only had in front of Sabastian before, and the corner of his mouth always had a helpless feeling of loss in the later period.



2. Sabastian's Courage

Sabastian's eyes were always resolute and light-hearted, and when he looked carefully, there was clearly a full of warmth, those were the eyes of a pair of children. He refuses to grow, ignores the opinions of others, and roams in his own world with his teddy bear full of food. He should have been worry-free and happy, but the source of his pain came from his own background. The second son, who had no right of inheritance, was destined to become a idle son who had nothing. He has always strongly rejected such a fate. There is a scene where Sabastian moves into an old gentleman in a pub in Oxford, wearing a mask with a beard and eyes, sitting rigidly in the corner. This is by no means a performance art on a whim, it is the result of his own foresight early in the morning, and his life can be seen to die at a glance. So a child decided to obliterate the heart at an incomparable speed, only in this way can the despair of knowing the fate be less. This is somewhat of a brutal self-destructive scene, but looking at Sabastian's innocent eyes makes people hate it anyway.

He needed someone to lean on, someone who understood his soul, so Charles appeared. Charles and Teddy are the fondest memories of his Oxford years. Just like the short summer in England, he knew that this beautiful day would not last long, so he enjoyed it recklessly, hoping that every minute and every second would not be wasted. With a kind of heart that would rather be broken than broken, he wanted to be with Charles, no matter what he did, no matter where he was, as long as they were together. He wanted to see him late at night after being drunk, and it was heartbreaking that Sabastian was vulnerable in that moment, he was just too scared to lose Charles, or that he knew he was destined to lose him. He longs for a free life, and if drinking can help him reach the other side, even his life is worth it. But this is a place that Charles cannot reach with him. Even though he has an incomparable desire for freedom in his heart, he still rejects such a plan without hesitation. So Sabastian begins to be disappointed with Charles, and then despairs. Then it gradually drifted away and disappeared without books.

Regarding alcoholism, there may be an element of resistance to rebellion at the beginning, but not everyone has the courage to go down with a single-minded depravity like Sabastian. In the Moroccan hospital, Charles found him, looking haggard, but never regretted it. So far, Oxford, Teddy and Charles have been completely replaced by Morocco, Alcoholics and Keter. He can't afford to lose any more, he just needs to be needed. But when the war begins, Kurt commits suicide, and the balance of his life is broken.

Sabastian began to return to religion, and when people are vulnerable, they will especially show the power of faith, which was also shown when the old marquis died. He lived as an ascetic in the sighs of others, but in the eyes of those who loved him he was happy. I believe Charles has always understood Sabastian, so he never criticized Sabastian's happiness for different standards of happiness, he let him live in his own redemption.



3. Two of my favorite characters It's

interesting that these two characters are people who, besides Charles, have a lot of love for Sabastian. Anthony the stuttering Italian was a great forerunner and I liked the bluntness of his words. He talked deeply about Sabastian with Charles twice. He said that charming is something that will kill people. Why not? If Sabastian was not so charming, would Charles have less or even no grief? Woolen cloth. Sister Cordelia, she is compassionate by nature, and when she was a child, she would pity the diamond-encrusted tortoise. She said you don't know if it hurts. The youngest child tends to understand the equality of all living beings better, because the siblings are around at birth, which is a relatively stable family structure, and there is no newborn to snatch her favor. She became a nun, and in a way she came closest to Sabastian's divinity. She also said that only she and Charles loved Sabastian differently. So in the end she and Charles both believed that what Sabastian got was real happiness.


4. The meaning of


religion Religion embodies a person's attitude towards life and death, regardless of piety or not, all children who grow up under faith will be affected to some extent by it. They can stop believing in doctrine, but they will never denigrate the God whom he once praised. Many religions do not support pagan intermarriage, which is understandable. If there is a difference in the attitude towards life itself, this difference will go hand in hand, and at some point it will be sharply highlighted, destroying the whitewashed peace.

Charles is an agnostic, or an atheist, who believes more in himself and rejects other possibilities. For the first time in the chapel, Charles also knelt down with Sabastian and crossed his chest. Sabastian asked him what to do, and Charles said it was just polite. In fact, it is blasphemy, like a monkey in a circus wearing a lady's clothes, which is a kind of blasphemy to both people and monkeys.

Charles has always had a mocking attitude towards religion, which began to deepen after Sabastian's departure, and which ultimately prevented Julia from getting all her love. In this regard, he is not even as good as Rex. Although Rex's original intention is more suspicious and utilitarian, he has never challenged the beliefs of others. Charles finally understood why when he broke up with Julia, so he said to Julia, I want to see your heart broken, but I really understand.

It is indescribable whether religion limits a person's horizons or expands his horizons immensely. If you believe in and love something, a God or a God or a free mind, then that love itself is a great power, and it must be able to provide you with a criterion of judgment and a method of action when you need it. I think this is probably the meaning of faith.



In the end, Charles returned to Breeds Head, and stood there dumbfounded to see its dilapidation, but I could clearly see his smile on the lawn for the first time many years ago in the summer. Time has taken away life, beauty, and youth, but no matter what, it cannot take away the two teenagers who walked together and their dreams of freedom.

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