Kung Fu Hustle Quotes

  • Landlady: You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy.

  • The Beast: All I want is to kill you, or be killed by you.

  • Landlady: So you're on their side?

    The Beast: Don't get me wrong! I only want to kill you, or be killed by you.

  • The Beast: In the world of kung fu, speed determines the winner.

  • Sing: No more soccer!

  • Brother Sum: Ever killed anyone?

    Sing: I've always thought about it.

  • Sing's Sidekick: You gave him your life savings?

    Sing: Yes. I was saving to become a doctor or lawyer... but this was a chance for world peace.

  • Sing: I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be bad. I want to be the killer!

    Sing's Sidekick: [looks up] Ice cream!

    [leaves]

    Sing: Where?

    [follows]

  • Sing: [to ice cream vendor looking at him strangely] What're you looking at? Never seen a free ice cream before?

    [runs away without paying, laughing maniacally]

  • Sing's Sidekick: Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing!

    Sing: I never knew you were so deep.

  • Barber: Why don't you train us to be top fighters... and we'll avenge them!

    Landlady: Becoming a top fighter takes time, unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius, and they're 1 in a million.

    Barber: [Does martial arts routine] It's obvious I'm the one.

    Landlady: [immediately punches him in the face] Don't think so.

  • Sing: NO SOCCER!

  • Landlady: [to Tailor] What's with the red underwear?

  • The Beast: What is the name of your technique?

    Sing: You wanna learn? I will teach you!

  • Landlady: How come you became righteous? Have you anything to say?

    [sing draws a stick of candy on the ground with his blood]

    Landlady: I don't recognize this character. What are you trying to say?

  • Donut: [in English] What are you prepared to do?

    Landlord: We can't understand what you're saying!

  • Landlord: [commenting on Sing's newfound abilities] If he studies hard, he could be a doctor or a lawyer.

    Landlady: A stuntman, more likely.

  • Axe Gang Advisor: Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel.

  • Sing: Wow, that's a big fist!

  • Sing: Fat woman, you're in charge here, right?

    Landlady: [takes her shoe off, slaps Sing with it] Fat woman, my ass!

    Sing: I'm with the Axe Gang!

    Landlady: [slaps him] Axe Gang, my ass!

    Sing: Boss!

    Landlady: [slaps him] Boss, my ass!

    Sing: You have to pay our medical bills!

    Landlady: Bills, my ass!

    Sing: We're on the same side!

    Landlady: Same side, my ass!

    Sing: A snake!

    Landlady: Snake, my ass!

  • Axe Gang Vice General: Who threw the firecracker?

  • Sing: All right. Now, we will sneak attack and take out that old lady.

    [throws knife, knife richchets off overhang and gets Sing in his right shoulder]

    Sing: Erg... Well, I'll let you try one.

    [stands beside sidekick]

    Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, accidentally throws backwards, gets Sing's left shoulder]

    Sing: Ack!

    [stands beside sidekick]

    Sing: Look, just take the knife, aim carefully, and throw.

    Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, winds back to his right, kinfe sticks Sing in his left arm, handle flys off at Landlady]

    Landlady: Who threw a handle?

    Sing: Quick! Take this cage of snakes and throw it at her. The snakes will all bite, and our problem will be solved.

    Sing's Sidekick: [takes cage, winds back over his head, snakes fall out the back of the cage all over Sing]

    Sing: You idiot! Now what am I supposed to do?

    Sing's Sidekick: Try whistling. I've heard that helps.

    Sing: [whistes, two snakes bite him on his lips]

  • The Beast: [Grabs pistol from brother Sum] Do they make these for men?

  • [the Soccer boy accidentally kicks his ball to Sing, who does a number of tricks with one foot]

    Soccer Boy: Wow, can you teach me that?

    Sing: Sure, lesson ONE!

    [pops the ball, the little boy starts crying]

  • Sing: [after noticing the Two Harpists carrying their covered-up harp on their back]

    Sing: They look like two gravediggers taking one of their customers for a walk.

  • Brother Sum: Don't block my view!

  • Donut: [nearing death, grabs the landlord] With great power comes great responsibility...

    Landlady: Donut, you are badly hurt. You must keep still.

    Donut: This could be the end of a beautiful friendship!

    Landlord: Oh, Donut. Tomorrow is another day!

    [Donut passes away]

  • Brother Sum: [after dismissing Sing] A bum like that could come in handy.

  • The Beast: Child's play! I can stop bullets.

    [smash noise]

    The Beast: Whoa!

    [looks down to see that Sing crushed his toe]

Extended Reading
  • Freddy 2022-03-24 09:01:41

    One of my favorites in the Stars movie. All kinds of worldly masters show off their kung fu, and Tathagata's palm is even more of a stroke of genius. The axe gang, the blind performer, the chartered in-laws, and the little mute are still deeply impressed.

  • Westley 2022-03-21 09:01:44

    Watching this movie now, it still gets high marks. The plot description is neat and uncluttered, simple and not convoluted. Characters with distinct personality, humorous and advanced lines, imaginative and creative special effects, and emotional depictions with both blood and warmth. Mr. Stephen Chow, a genius born for comedy movies.